The Loneliness of Moving and The Tasty Taco of Desire

It’s tough to watch the news right now.  You know that there is probably no hope for anybody that has been abducted by ISIS.  They have no respect for human life, and will do exactly what they say if they don’t get what they want.  The problem is that the more and more money that you give to them the stronger they become.  It’s a tough situation to be in.  Easy solution is don’t travel to where ISIS occupies land.

How many other teams in the NFL have been accused of doing things that tamper with the game over the years?  Belichek and Brady’s egos are enormous and there is probably some truth to this nonsense deflategate.  It’s not very often that I cheer for the Seahawks, but this will be one of those years.  That will be the last time that I talk about this.

You accumulate an awful lot of useless things over the years at a household. Loose change and random pieces of paper seem to be the biggest culprits.  The Bank of Canada probably had to produce 3% more nickels because of our household.

Sara owns so many comic books.  This seems to be a staple to being a geek.  There is a geek guidebook that states that you must at least own 347 comic books involving 74 different characters to receive your next badge of honour.

There are things that might be a fad that is a good thing.  Having local businesses sprouting up and being successful is a great thing for a community.  Even though people are trying out new things because that’s kind of the hip thing to do.  I can’t think of a bad thing that it does.  It has allowed the little guys to open businesses and do their own thing.  Corporations are having a difficult time adjusting.  Keep trying new stuff.  Keep being smart about how you shop and socialize.

We leave for the Philippines over the next couple of weeks.  Yes, we know, be careful, you have heard about people getting in trouble over there.  I am pretty sure I have heard this with every country that we have visited.

I watch the price is right everyday at lunch.  I love that show.  You have no idea how people are going to react to being called up or when they win.  It’s one of the few shows that it’s an actual unscripted response to winning something.

It’s funny seeing all the tweets by Canadians making fun of the States for their big snow storm that has hit the east coast.  It’s also a bit creepy that a lot of Americans sent out requests to cuddle in Kijiji during the snow storm.  The majority were males.  That’s exactly what a woman wants to do.  Go up to a single guys apartment that she doesn’t know, and hang out and cuddle at his apartment during a blizzard.  Sounds like a Law and Order episode waiting to happen.

We have been watching multiple documentaries about people that hike the Appalachian Trail and Pacific Crest Trail.  They might as well call the documentaries.  Dirty Hiker Hippies that do an awful lot of drugs and hike sometimes.  They need to interview some more of the people that are there to actually hike.

The Grammy nominations this year aren’t nearly as bad as years past.  For Rock album of the year this year they have the following.  Beck – Morning Phase, Black Keys – Turn Blue, Ryan Adams – Ryan Adams, Tom Petty – Hypnotic Eye, and U2 – Song of Innocence.  U2 could release sounds of dogs barking and be up for album of the year.  Also for those that thought that Ryan Adams was supposed to be Bryan Adams you should feel ashamed.

When you DJ an event and another DJ comes up to the booth and decides to give you pointers on what songs to play it’s tough to respond.  You realize that he is an older gentlemen and doesn’t really know the crowd well and the song that he has suggested is going to bomb, but you don’t want to be a dick.  If you play his song he is more then likely going to come up again.  If you decide to not play his song he will be angry and might say something to the people that hired you.  It’s a choose your own adventure that has a death in both instances.

ZZ Top is one of those bands that has lost flavour over the years.  Sharp Dressed Man at one point of my life was a song that didn’t just make me think of Don Cherry and his ridiculous suits.

There are quite a few people that pick out things in the garbage in our townhouse complex.  I threw out cardboard one minute, and then went back our to throw out more cardboard and it was gone.  “Look at these boxes honey.  Just think of the possibilities that we have with this box that once held a slow cooker.”

You will never meet a person more angry then the person looking for a laptop to purchase with a normal size shift button on their laptop.

Block Three has a beer called The Loneliness.  It’s a Russian Imperial Stout that is 8.7%.  It’s terrific in every way.  Including the name.

Spiderman your quips aren’t funny.  Your stupid little gags when you shoot your web and stick someone to a wall suck.  You are about as fresh as Gilbert Gottfried and Carrot Top on a Wednesday night at the Luxor in Vegas.

I did think Quicksand was going to be more of a worry then it actually is when I was a child.

There is nothing worse then preparing to move.  Sometimes you talk to people who like weird things.  Like, I like cleaning or I like shoveling snow.  Nobody likes moving.  You kind of get mad at yourself for finding stuff that you now know would never get used again.  Why did I keep this 15% off a new swimming pool coupon?

There are mild taco kits at the grocery store.  I still can’t get over this.  You don’t deserve to eat tacos if you get the mild ones.  Just cook the ground beef and put it in a shell.  You can only have iceburg lettuce and mild cheddar cheese as well.  You get no taste.  No taste for you.


Deflated balls, this is what everybody wants to talk about leading up to the Superbowl.  The Colts lost 45-7.  It’s not like on the late drive of the game that they gave them a basketball to use to try to win the game.

Sara and I just got back from Trinidad.  The weather was beautiful.  According to our iPhone it was supposed to rain the majority of time there.  We did some hiking in the rainforest with a couple of people from the small village that we were staying at.  We slept on the beach in a hammock and were really at ease with pretty much everything that surrounded us.  Nothing better then sitting watching the waves roll in while somebody is making a delicious meal for you over a fire on a beach.  Trinidadian food is a fantastic mix of Indian, Caribbean, and South American.  Received some good ideas of things to try out in the future.  All in all it was a very relaxing trip.  It’s especially relaxing when you don’t have to be involved with any US stop overs.

Just a quick question for Toronto Maple Leaf fans.  What were you expecting this year?  Fighting for the playoffs is the best this team is capable of.  Stop crying and throwing your jerseys on the ice.

Sometimes I feel like I am 75 years old when I watch CBC news.  Their are multiple commercials about having a hard time getting out of tubs and having a swimming pool that is basically a treadmill swimming pool.

Target, oh poor Target.  You thought being a big American chain was good enough.  Unfortunately, you still need product and a reason for us to shop there.  Feel bad for those that lost their jobs, but did anybody really think this would succeed?  Heard a stat the CEO’s buyout was more then every person that worked for Target across Canada’s buyout.

I honestly don’t think I would cut it at Tim Horton’s.  Things are way too fast paced there.  I received my bagel and my coffee within one minute.  Do they own a baby dragon to make the bagels that quickly?

We are currently in the process of packing up to move.  I own an Oakland Athletics, Troy Neel Jersey.  He played a total of 3 seasons with the A’s.  He only played DH.  There was something wrong with me as a child.  I don’t think anybody including myself really remembers what he looks like.  He actually might have been a character from a Nintendo baseball game that I was playing and I became confused and purchased a jersey of.

Justin Bieber is going to be roasted.  He’s agreed to it for Comedy Central.  This is actually the smartest move he has made in about five years.  People love celebrities that don’t mind when you poke fun at them.  The amount of material that they have on Biebs is the similar to Ivan Drago’s training gym in Rocky 4.

I have finally retired the Intel Pentium Desktop that I had purchased in 2005.  It did me well.  Many great bands were found out on that machine.  In it’s final years it sounded like a 1968 Soviet tank, but it was my Soviet tank.  You will be missed.  For our tiny house I am going to make a blanket out of the recycled plastic frame of the computer to be remembered.

Seattle Seahawks 24 New England Patriots 21

Continued watching the Trailer Park Boys.  There isn’t much better then this show.  I must say that I do miss Trevor.  Wonder why that actor wouldn’t want to comeback to portray his character?  He probably couldn’t get reception at the Tim Hortons in Nova Scotia he was at when the producers called.

Guinness always hits the mark.  It’s the big fat guy from Ice Hockey at that perfect amount of holding down the slapshot button and having him release a howitzer upon the skinny guy and the small quick guy to try to contain.  He was Kevin James and Al Iafrate all mixed up in one and I loved him.

Green Bay had maybe the biggest meltdown that has ever been seen on live TV.  Well Toronto against Boston was probably worse, but it was close.  I was in the airport when I read about it and I felt my face going red just reading about it.  I can’t imagine the outrage and horror that would have occurred in Kitchener if I would have witnessed this catastrophe.

Insects don’t care if you curse at them.  The first person that makes a mosquito gun is going to be the richest person in the world.  It would be great if it made the noise “pew” when it shot as well.

Groin pain caused by issues with Ozzy Osbourne

Sara and I are moving into a new place on March 1st.  On the road to minimalism we will be moving into a one bedroom apartment in another part of Kitchener.  Moving is the absolute worst.  Best thing about this is that most of the stuff that we are getting rid of is either being donated, recycled, or thrown out.  It’s not quite as difficult when it all doesn’t need to be packed.

In future news Phil Kessel throws his Raptors jersey onto the court due to their four game losing streak.  Your team is currently fighting for the playoffs you bunch of donkeys.

Most people would stop their comedy tour amidst multiple rape allegations.  Most people also wouldn’t support somebody that has multiple rape allegations against them.  Good wholesome family comedy can be found in other ways friends.

I give props to adults that have no idea how to skate that try to skate.  That’s one sport that can take your manhood away when you are given a pylon or a chair because you are too wobbly.  Also, you look like a drunk giant man to little kids when you are out there.

Witnessed a lady that had so much plastic surgery that she kind of looked like Effie from Hunger Games.  It was frightening talking to her.  When I whispered “May the odds be ever in your favour to her”  She gave me the wink and the gun.  Some things in this story didn’t happen.

Will Smith said something pretty funny recently.  “I was very dumb when I was 14.  See, no Twitter, no Facebook when I was 14.  So I was dumb, but I was dumb in private.”  Perfectly summed up.

My brother in law is traveling.  He is currently in Cambodia.  This is his link to his most current video.  He is a little more extreme then Sara and I.

David’s Cambodia Trip

Oddly I think Canadians like when it becomes this cold because it makes us feel more Canadian.  We still complain, but we complain because were tough?

I know people generally hate food pictures on Instagram.  I usually hate them as well.  I hate them for the reason that I am not eating it though.  Yes, I do wish I had a strip loin steak, grilled asparagus, and a twice baked potato instead of this burnt grilled cheese due to to being too impatient and turning the oven up to 9.  Thanks for showing me this you jerk.

Eating a muffin over top of the keyboard of my laptop is a mistake I have made recently.

Stubbing your toe is the single reason why swear words were made.  This probably happened when cavemen were going to bed and trying to get around the rock that their kid always sits on gets in the way of their toe.  Fu** Mosha, fu** your chair.  You are skinning the buffalo tomorrow you little sh**.  Stop laughing, you put out the fire.  It took me almost one moonlight to start it.”

I understand the need for comfort.  But If you smell awful or if it looks like you just found the first three things that came into your eye sight you will be judged.  If this is your comfort for public occasions I can just imagine what comfort must be at home.  “Throw me the beach towel hun.”

Sara complains about the level of storyline in all animation now.  She believes that back in her day that there were great stories told that had substance and taught us things.   Do you agree or disagree, and why?  Or do you think that Sara has just nostalgia towards the things that she grew up with?  I expect a 623 word essay on this next week kids.

Top 3 moves that my older brothers did to me to get me to spill information

3 – Arm burn, pulling the skin one way against another

2 – Crank Judas Priest while I was attempting to sleep to scare the crap out of me

1 – Make me stare at the Ozzy Osbourne picture on the wall.  The one that he had fangs and had fake blood dripping down costumed as a werewolf.  The ’80s were fu****.

There’s no playing it cool when you take any type of object in the groin.  You play it cool and people think that you don’t have testicles or they aren’t big enough to be injured.  Or if you go over the top they call you a baby.  Just be truthful with your groin pain.


Whiplash – 9.5/10 Brief synopsis – First year music student with a world of talent and drive gets noticed by a hard noised no nonsense teacher that has tactics of getting the most out of students which are not used at schools any longer. This movie brings out things in people that love music that you didn’t know were there. If you are a musician this movie should be the bible for somebody that wants to be great. The intensity of this movie is of utter brilliance, original screenplay and realistic situations make this movie stand out from any other musical competition type of movie out there. Usually this type of intensity is left to sports (they actually touch on that in a thoughtful family dinner scene.) Miles Teller is a beast. His drive and ferocity to not be forgotten leaves you with an appreciation for anybody that has ever picked up drum sticks. JK Simmons is fantastic as the no nonsense, bust your balls professor that is striving for perfection with every note. You can see both actors actual love for music shine out all throughout this movie.

Whiplash is a an edge of your seat drama. My love for music has allowed me to relate to the main character. Even if you are on the edge with music knowledge or love for music you can appreciate the dedication that is put forth by the student. Watching the pain that he goes through to become not just a great drummer, but one of the best. I could watch this movie a couple of times and still get goose bumps. If you get a chance to check out this gem. It’s one of the best movies I have seen in quite a while.

Top 10 Movies of 2014

This is my top 10 movies of the year.  There are many that I haven’t seen yet, and wasn’t able to review.  Enjoy, and Happy New Year

10 – The Babadook

Even for those that don’t enjoy horror you have to admire the job of acting that both the lead actress and the son did in this unexpected gem.  The slow burn suspense is one of the best types of movies.  A women is trying to get over her husbands death when a childhood book is discovered.  It has the feeling of the Shining.  Wonderful flick.

9 – Still Alice

Heart wrenching tale of a brilliant professor that develops early Alzheimer disease.  She puts plans in place to be able to keep her memory.  Amazing performance by Julianne Moore.  This should be up for multiple Academy Awards.

8 – Grand Budapest Hotel

Story isn’t quite as good as past movies by Wes Anderson, but watching the beautiful camera shots and wonderful acting makes you forget about the lack of storyline.  Anderson is a lighthearted Stanley Kubrick.
Story of a bus boy that starts working for a world famous hotel.

7 – Housebound

Another wonderful movie that has come out of New Zealand.  The movie has you scratching your head from the first twenty minutes onward.  You assume a typical haunted house movie.  Then it takes multiple twists and turns and ends up being something completely different.

6 – Boyhood

This movies is a masterpiece.  Shot over 12 years by Richard Linklater.  Watching each character grow up and who they become over the years.  Thinking that it’s going to go one way, but it actually goes another.  Original idea, and keeps you engaged.  It’s a long one, but well worth the watch.

5 – Wild

It’s one of the few times that I can say that the movie is better then the book.  Nick Hornby (High Fidelity, About a Boy) does a great job of intertwining the story of Cheryl’s struggle with her personal problems and the adventure of hiking the PCT.

4 –   Gone Girl

Edge of your seat entertainment.  Beautifully shot, and wonderfully acted.  Shows us the power of the internet and public suggestion.  Man’s wife is kidnapped, and the untangling of the web of lies and deceit.

3 – The Skeleton Twins

Two siblings that have dealt with multiple depression issues while growing up end up living together.  You can feel the chemistry of Wiig and Hader from their SNL days.  Simple story that turns complex with the way that the characters look at the world.

2 – Nightcrawler

Jake Gyllenhaal should win best actor for this portrayal of a free lance camera man that is always looking for the best shot to sell to news stations.  Start to finish you see Gyllenhaal’s characters obsession with night class business school jargon and becoming one of the best himself.

1 – Guardians of the Galaxy

This is a perfectly made comic book movie.  Smart script, perfect casting, and wonderful action sequences.  It had everything you could possibly want from a movie. If Big :League chew taste could last 120 minutes it would be this movie.  It was the best movie with a bullet this year.

Pass interference calls while tobogganing drunk

It’s over, Christmas season is over.  I appreciate all of the love and concern while I wove in and out of insanity.  One thing that I can tell you is that children are receiving much better gifts now then when I was growing up.  Tablet or a new bike?  You be the judge?  You might as well give them a box of cut up newspaper if you are attempting to give a teenager a bicycle.

Dallas Cowboys won yesterday.  There was the obvious overturning of the call, but really the Lions had many chances to put that thing away earlier.  It should not have come down to that.

Sara and I visited Ikea yesterday.  That is one store that knows what they are doing.  Leading you through the store.  No shopping carts, and having decent prices for pretty much everything.  It’s quite a bit better then following around a family of 7 with two shopping carts looking at Angry Birds t-shirts while three babies that aren’t triplets, but look exactly the same age are crying in the shopping cart.  The mother is yelling at them to shut it in a terrible tone of voice.  Welcome to Walmart.

Frank – 7.3/10 (I did fall asleep part of the way through and woke back up for the wonderful final song.  This is the rating for the part of the movie that I did see.)
Black Mirror – 8.9/10 – This is a British TV series that gives you one hour stories about random things in the near future.

Best Boxing Day line – “I don’t really need a TV.  What am I going to do with the old one?  But it’s such a good deal.  I still have all of this money.”  Then she turns to me and says.  “What do you think I should do?”  I predict an awful lot of debt for this young lady in the future.

Made my own fish and chips yesterday.  It was really easy.  It was also delicious.  You mean you don’t have to deep fry it until it weighs 36 lbs and eat enough until you feel like tartar sauce might be the best thing that has ever been invented?

Clash of Clans and Boom Beach have commercials on TV during NFL Playoffs.  These are free games that you can play on your tablet and phone.  This is the equivalent to the KW Public Library having an ad during the Academy Awards.

There have been multiple people that I have talked to that have had to use a chair as defense against another human being.

Top 3 things that your local big box retail associate dislikes

3 – When you approach the counter while somebody is being rung in already, and you stare at them.
2 – Snapping your fingers, waving, or yelling hey or any other obnoxious thing that you can think of to get their attention.
1 – Telling them that you are in a hurry, but you have decided to come in to spend over $1000 on a retail purchase.  If you have only 5 minutes please come back later.  Rather then returning the product; because I didn’t have time to ask you any questions.

One thing that I have understood over years of working.  If somebody thinks they are better then you because they either look down on your job or believe that their job is just ridiculously important.  They are generally shitty in most other ways as well.

You don’t hear many parents naming their kid Golum.

Going as an adult by yourself and tobogganing down a giant hill will have people that see this thinking one of three things.  Mental issues, pedophile, or drunk.

Watching previews for the Hobbit versus watching previews for Wild led me to a conclusion that Hobbit people debate whether $17.99 is the absolute most they will spend for a popcorn and a gallon of pop.   While people that watch Wild will have a debate about whether Steve Carrell can pull off a dramatic role.  Both conversations are worthwhile.

Video game movies.  Watch out for them over the next 5 years.

New Years Resolutions aren’t really my thing, but I believe 2015 is going to be a solid year.  With more and more small businesses starting up and people just being more informed on stuff that they are purchasing.  There are multiple apps for phones that allow you to find where things are the best deals and the places that get great reviews.  Sara and I are trying to sink as much money as possible into the local businesses.  That and giving back to the community are the two biggest things that we are trying to accomplish.

Happy New Year from Hosehead