Groin pain caused by issues with Ozzy Osbourne

Sara and I are moving into a new place on March 1st.  On the road to minimalism we will be moving into a one bedroom apartment in another part of Kitchener.  Moving is the absolute worst.  Best thing about this is that most of the stuff that we are getting rid of is either being donated, recycled, or thrown out.  It’s not quite as difficult when it all doesn’t need to be packed.

In future news Phil Kessel throws his Raptors jersey onto the court due to their four game losing streak.  Your team is currently fighting for the playoffs you bunch of donkeys.

Most people would stop their comedy tour amidst multiple rape allegations.  Most people also wouldn’t support somebody that has multiple rape allegations against them.  Good wholesome family comedy can be found in other ways friends.

I give props to adults that have no idea how to skate that try to skate.  That’s one sport that can take your manhood away when you are given a pylon or a chair because you are too wobbly.  Also, you look like a drunk giant man to little kids when you are out there.

Witnessed a lady that had so much plastic surgery that she kind of looked like Effie from Hunger Games.  It was frightening talking to her.  When I whispered “May the odds be ever in your favour to her”  She gave me the wink and the gun.  Some things in this story didn’t happen.

Will Smith said something pretty funny recently.  “I was very dumb when I was 14.  See, no Twitter, no Facebook when I was 14.  So I was dumb, but I was dumb in private.”  Perfectly summed up.

My brother in law is traveling.  He is currently in Cambodia.  This is his link to his most current video.  He is a little more extreme then Sara and I.

David’s Cambodia Trip

Oddly I think Canadians like when it becomes this cold because it makes us feel more Canadian.  We still complain, but we complain because were tough?

I know people generally hate food pictures on Instagram.  I usually hate them as well.  I hate them for the reason that I am not eating it though.  Yes, I do wish I had a strip loin steak, grilled asparagus, and a twice baked potato instead of this burnt grilled cheese due to to being too impatient and turning the oven up to 9.  Thanks for showing me this you jerk.

Eating a muffin over top of the keyboard of my laptop is a mistake I have made recently.

Stubbing your toe is the single reason why swear words were made.  This probably happened when cavemen were going to bed and trying to get around the rock that their kid always sits on gets in the way of their toe.  Fu** Mosha, fu** your chair.  You are skinning the buffalo tomorrow you little sh**.  Stop laughing, you put out the fire.  It took me almost one moonlight to start it.”

I understand the need for comfort.  But If you smell awful or if it looks like you just found the first three things that came into your eye sight you will be judged.  If this is your comfort for public occasions I can just imagine what comfort must be at home.  “Throw me the beach towel hun.”

Sara complains about the level of storyline in all animation now.  She believes that back in her day that there were great stories told that had substance and taught us things.   Do you agree or disagree, and why?  Or do you think that Sara has just nostalgia towards the things that she grew up with?  I expect a 623 word essay on this next week kids.

Top 3 moves that my older brothers did to me to get me to spill information

3 – Arm burn, pulling the skin one way against another

2 – Crank Judas Priest while I was attempting to sleep to scare the crap out of me

1 – Make me stare at the Ozzy Osbourne picture on the wall.  The one that he had fangs and had fake blood dripping down costumed as a werewolf.  The ’80s were fu****.

There’s no playing it cool when you take any type of object in the groin.  You play it cool and people think that you don’t have testicles or they aren’t big enough to be injured.  Or if you go over the top they call you a baby.  Just be truthful with your groin pain.


One comment

  1. Smoke · January 10, 2015

    Totally agree with Sara about today’s animation storylines being junk. Whoever’s writing that stuff should be ashamed of themselves!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s