Hockey Players in long pants at Centre in the Square tonight.

While rummaging through the house and packing you find very old pictures of yourself that you forgot all about.  For being a bit of a jock I resemble somebody that might have no idea which way to run if they were asked to go to first base.  This works for sports and as a sexual reference as well.

I own a mounted poster of Sgt. Peppers Lonely Club Band.  It might not make the cut to go to the new place, but I cannot throw out that masterpiece.  It might require a night at a karaoke bar.  The person with the best Beatle cover will receive this as a prize.  They can also have our stone age washer and dryer as well.  Energy efficiency wasn’t a thing when we bought this model.  It was actually thought to be more productive the louder and less efficient it was.  It mean’t that your clothes were cleaner.

Jim Jefferies was solid.  He has a very good sense of how to tip-toe the line of bad taste and humor.

Foreigner is this evening.  This concert is more for Sara then myself.  She once told me that Foreigner was the best classic rock band of all time.  As I listed many bands that I thought were better then Foreigner she just repeated the lyrics of Hot Blooded to me over and over again until I quit arguing.

We leave for the Philippines tomorrow.  We actually don’t arrive until about three days after we leave due to travel and time zone changes.  We have a stop over in Abu Dhabi.  They have a hotel there that has a vending machine that spits out gold bars.  You have to be awfully rich to walk by a vending machine and think to yourself that you don’t have quite enough gold bars, and decide in that instance that you require at least one more gold bar.

As adults we own probably a creepy amount of stuffed animals.  If people were to look through our household they wouldn’t be surprised one bit if we abducted children.

You want to play a little Russian Roulette?  Buy an Oakland A’s jersey with any name on it that you like.  If they last three years there you win.  What you win is debatable.  We have an elliptical trainer bought from Canadian Tire in 2003.  It lasted about 2003 seconds before breaking down.

My Morning Jacket, The War on Drugs, and Alabama Shakes are playing a festival in Toronto.  It’s the same weekend as Niagara Comic Con which has such guests as David Hasselhoff, Nikolai Volkov, and Billy Dee Williams.  My friends are generally divided into two groups.  I could probably predict which of you would go where.

Rudderless – 6.8/10

The music of this film is phenomenal.  Basic story line is a father grieving over his son dying after a school massacre.  He finds his music and begins to play it himself.

I never thought this would be put in my blog, but the show Grimm is excellent.  I will never utter these words for Vampire Diaries I swear.

Centre in the Square is so old school.  They have three people in their 60’s or 70’s ripping tickets at the door.  This isn’t 300 people coming to see some weird magic show that the main finale is pulling multiple handkerchiefs from your jacket pocket.  This is Foreigner, they actually might have been around to watch that weird magic show,

I still can’t believe that the Philadelphia Flyers wore long pants playing hockey in the 80’s.  Why?  What possible purpose could this have?  “Don’t worry about wearing a helmet, but put these long pants on.  We want to make sure your legs are protected.”

Smart Cars do a lot of great things.  I believe when I look in the car I will see somebody intelligent.  They know they have made the correct decision for an efficient automobile.  This is until they meep meep onto the 401 and are wedged in between two giant trucks.

I have a co-worker at work that was telling me how she is not really into Valentine’s Day.  Her and her beau don’t really have big plans.  She said all of this to me while cutting hundreds of little hearts out of pieces of paper to make him a card.

Somehow in wrestling whenever you slapped your elbow before delivering an elbow smash it injured the other wrestler much more severely.

Younger Daryl Smith’s favorite computer game was Hockey League Simulator.  You traded, drafted players, and simulated games to watch your teams progress.  There was no actual playing the game.  You didn’t even get to watch the play by play.  Friends would come over and be very confused by the hours that I would spend checking Mike Foligno’s stats to see if he was a good fit to be a Flyer.  This is the reason why gamers don’t get ripped in this blog.

I caught myself saying oooohhhh a little to freely when asked if I would like some coconut scented lotion.  People noticed, but it didn’t matter.  I was already committed.  There was nothing else to do, but to embrace the scent.

Top 3 things that are related to my name that won’t even get you a pity laugh when you bring it up.

3 – And your other brother Daryl.

2 – D.A.R.Y.L, remember that movie from the 80’s.  You were a robot.

1 – Wouldn’t it be a trip if you worked at Smitty’s Fine Furniture?

I am still trying to find the age out that I start to like shoveling?   I see people outside all of the time that are basically shoveling nothing.  If you just want to get away from the wife for a bit you need something better to do then shovel.


Tanning in the sun with Mr. Burns while he reeks of cannabis.

Great Super Bowl.  People love drama, and love disputing the call that Pete Carroll made.  It was the wrong call.  You really can’t think of a better guy then Marshawn Lynch to have in that situation.  I don’t think the Patriots had stopped him for a loss yet.  You run the ball every single time there.  Russell Wilson had to put that ball in a spot that couldn’t be intercepted if you are going to throw it.  That means an extremely tough catch for the receiver if you throw it closer to the ground.  Keep it simple and feed the beast.

Foxcatcher – 8.4/10

Steve Carrell was fantastic in it.  Playing a creepy millionaire that wanted to have a legacy as a mentor and leader of US Olympic bound wrestlers.  Steve Carrell’s best performance of his career.

Most of you probably have seen the sign.  It’s one of the best and worst things that I have ever received.  I have given it to a brewery that is hopefully opening up soon in the KW region.  People ask me why I don’t keep it quite often.  What would you do with this in a small one bedroom apartment?

IMG_4298 IMG_4311 IMG_4318

Jose Gonzalez is coming to town in April.  I received the tickets from a courageous co-worker that ventured into downtown Toronto during the height of traffic in a snow storm to retrieve these glorious tickets.  They deserve all the glory, but I deserve the show muaaah aaaaah haaaaa, but for real thank you.

At some point in time you will be able to have surgery to adjust the sound of your voice to your favourite musician.

Do you think the reason that we have not had a visit from a time traveler is that the earth is going to kick us off before we develop the technology?

These are the types of thoughts when Beck Morning Phase comes onto the iPod randomly.  It has also given me a strange hankering to have some Doritos and watch Black Dynamite.

Finally purchased an iPhone 5s.  The camera and processor speed is are the biggest differences that I notice.  Some of the pictures from the iPhone 4 looked similar to a camera that you would get for free with the purchase of a Timox watch off of the streets of Bangkok.  That “o” was on purpose.  This was written for those that haven’t watched the Simpsons Sorny episode.

We are so close to having the house all cleaned up and ready to move when we get back from the Philippines.  For those that know moving is the worst.  Maybe the worst feeling is that you find things that you were for some reason keeping.  Why do I have 3,659 plastic bags?  I don’t remember buying 46 plain black t-shirts.  Is there a reason that I have the Princess Peach game for a gaming system that I have never owned?

It’s impossible for doctor’s to see into your mind.  There are many people that have legitimate mental issues.  There are also many people that use the system, and there are people that have had snow plow parents and they haven’t had to deal with any issues and don’t know how to deal with it when they arise.  It’s one of the toughest debates.  And one that really doesn’t have an answer.  We just have to trust that people will do the right thing.

Jim Jeffries is coming to town.  I have tickets.  I believe there are still some tickets remaining for this Thursday.  He is one of the best comedians around.  Check him out if you get a chance this coming Thursday at Centre in the Square.

When we were in Costa Rica hiking in Corcovado they had a sign up saying to watch out for jaguars.  They had a sign up if you were face to face with one.  Punch it in the nose and look as big as possible.  Saying “you’re fucked” is what they wanted to say, but probably couldn’t put that on the sign.

There is nothing more satisfying to a Canadian man then pushing a neighbors car out of the snow.  When that car gets going and they give that small honk of the horn that they are good to go is maybe the sound that should be part of the National Anthem.

Major sports are getting upset that people are buying knock off jerseys from China.  Oh, that’s too bad, maybe if you didn’t charge us $150.00 per jersey we would buy it from you guys.  You guys not making enough money?  All these things must be said in your prototypical high pitched whiny voice.

When a server says to me.  That beer is extremely hoppy, and I just give her the cocky I can handle it look was my proudest moment of last week.

Sara is a well oiled machine for most things.  She was able to hike the majority of the Appalachian Trail.  Hike the Camino in Spain, and hike Everest Base Camp, as well as many other achievements.  You get a speck of dust into her system and she turns into Mr. Burns.

Just reeking like pot and coming to shop for a printer at 10:05am makes for some odd conversation.  I have some experience in dealing with people that are high, but I am not prepared for that at this point of the morning.  Please wait till the morning coffee is finished and then come into talk about DPI of printers reeking like cannabis.

Camel’s don’t look comfortable at all, but I guess there isn’t a huge amount of other animal vehicle options in the area of the world that most camels are in.

This might be my last blog until I get back from the Philippines.  We are really looking forward to it and feel that the warm weather will not only be a shock to our system, but we feel it is necessary for us not to be featured on a new Ghost Hunters show.

You tan when in sun.