Eating Balogna after Throwing a Gem in Kincardine

We have installed an air conditioner into our tiny abode.  It releases air that is cold to keep you from melting.

Avengers “Age of Ultron” – 7.4/10

It was exactly what you expected from the Avengers.  All action, quick wit, and the slaughtering of robots.  Nothing remarkably good or bad.

Spring – 7.1/10

This movie had a pile of potential.  Young guy goes to Italy after losing his last family member to cancer.  He backpacks, then decides to work on a farm. Falls in love with a local Italian woman that isn’t all that she seems.  Some cool dialogue and specials effects. It loses it’s luster after a while, and drags on a bit.

Steak test on the cast iron grill has been completed.  After many glasses of wine and deliberation.  I have decided that it’s excellent.

There isn’t a more disappointed look in a person’s eye than a dentist that has found out that you don’t floss as much as you should.

Years ago I bought tickets for a Built to Spill show in Toronto.  They were playing back to back nights.  I was debating which night that they would put on a better performance.  Subsequently purchased the tickets.  Put the tickets in the drawer of my desk.  As months went on my brain decided that I had bought the tickets for the other night.  I pulled the tickets out of the desk drawer and noticed that the concert had started one hour ago, and I was in Kitchener.  Built to Spill was devastated by the news that they vowed to never release an album or come to Canada ever again.  Until now!

Once again we were blown away by the service at Kacaba winery.  They not only allowed us to try every single wine that has ever been made.  They allowed us to use their barbeque to cook up a tasty lunch.  If you haven’t been there yet, then you are an idiot.

The Toronto Bluejays are as mediocre as a bowl of oatmeal with stale raisins.

I finally received the OK from Sara to put up my no-hitter ball which is placed in a case.  She doesn’t realize the amount of stress that goes into a class “d” ball no-hitter.  Having the six fans standing in awe over your final 56 MPH fastball.  Dripping sweat off of the uneven mound of the Kincardine ball field.  Capturing the umpire’s extraordinarily large strike zone.  It all came together on one magical evening.  Many people ask how I felt after throwing the gem.  I felt great, great and sore.

Why would you ever leave One Direction as a teenage boy?  I really can’t think of a better profession.  This has a Gob Bluthe terrible mistake quote written all over it.

I tried to watch a Star Wars movie on May the 4th.  I like to engage in all things nerdy.  It’s just, the Star Wars movies aren’t worth my bandwidth.

It would probably get a bit boring walking down the railroad tracks with nowhere to go.  It would seem exciting at the start, but the stick with all of your possessions in a handkerchief could only last you so long.  You should use a backpack.

Niagara Falls Comic Con is coming up.  I really like the guest list that they have there.  Actually mainly I just want to meet former wrestlers.  Nikolai Volkov, The Iron Shiek, and King Kong Bundy.  Would I take a Bundy splash, and pay money for it?  Yes!

We drove through Dashwood recently.  One of the few things that I remember about Dashwood is that when they played ball against us that they wore jeans.  That, and they were terrible.

Why do people use extravagant words to describe something that you know that the words that they are using aren’t necessary?  You see this all the time at a concert.  People are on their cell phones, talking to friends, grabbing beers, going outside for smokes.  But when you ask them about the concert.  “It was epic.  Flawless performance.  Amazing, once in a lifetime experience.”  Your scale is broken if you rate everything 10/10.

You want to act cool after you hammer your elbow off of a wall due to taking the corner to sharp out of the kitchen.  Then your wife asks if you are alright.  You play it cool.  You are just mad at the wall.  You might even blame her for moving something in the vicinity to throw off your route.

The day has come that we have to stop talking about bacon.  The marketing industry has caught on.  Everything is marketed towards bacon.  Bacon on the outside of the crust on a pizza?  I am on to bologna…. And I am back to bacon.  Bologna is terrible.

Maxim Magazine and their involvement with Barenaked Ladies singalongs.

Living in a super old building has a few drawbacks.  Not being able to control the heat is one of them.  Unfortunately, the house knows a few days after the heat wave that the house is now warm enough.  It’s like giving the controls to somebody in BC to run the heat in Ontario.

Wild Tales – 8.7/10

Wild Tales is an Argentinean movie that is made up of 5 or 6 little short stories all about revenge.  It’s excellent! Subtitled though, this used to be a key point in my viewing ability.  “I don’t wants to read.  I wants to watch, I ain’t learnin.”

Everything about buying a suit is awkward.  From the inner seam measurement, to the picking out a $600.00 suit, then to the settling on a clearance suit that is sitting on a rack that is extremely close to the bathroom.

Was able to hit up the golf course finally this past week.  If you ever wondered where every guy over the age of 60 goes at 8am.  It’s to the Brookfield Golf and Country Club.

Sitting around a camp fire is great.  Then the characters come out.  The guy that wants to build the fire extremely high.  The guy that wants to burn everything.  The guy with the acoustic guitar that really likes the Barenaked Ladies.  The guy that thinks telling ghost stories is ironically cool.  The girl that really wants Smores, but gets all of the marshmellow and chocolate all over her hands, and forces you to make the next one.  This is the life of a campfire

How come Don Draper is always sweating after he has a few drinks?

Really bright shoes make you look like you are faster than you actually are.  Why else would you want lime green or bright orange shoes?

There was nobody cooler than the lifeguards at my local swimming pool.  You either wanted to be the person or were in love with the person.  You thought there always could be a chance that she was into you.  Until that time after I executed a perfect can opener that my shorts were coming off when I was getting out of the pool, and some dude named Dean pulled them all the way down.  After that I had no chance.

There was always one guy that everybody watched going off of the diving board.  It was always the really big dude that could make a giant splash.  It was can’t miss action at the pool.

Remember when we were in an uproar about Kris Bryant not starting the year with the Chicago Cubs.  Super-agent Scott Boras is the Kim Kardashian of the sport agent world.

Why does everybody love Agents of Shield so much?  It seems to me that we might be hopped up a little too much on sugar cereal and need to settle down that everything comic book related is awesome.  We are not Sheldon Cooper, we can insist on much more. Just because they introduce a character that you have heard of in past readings of comic books doesn’t mean that they have done a good job with the character.  Rise up fellow nerds.  Demand more from them.  *faints on the ground*

If you use a mouse so much that your hand is now a claw.  You use a mouse too much.

Sirius XM was stuck on a channel in my car this morning.  It was cranked on Liquid Metal.  The neighbours now think that I listen to Type O’ Negative at 7am in the morning.  How does your voice even become that deep?

What We Do In the Shadows – 9.0/10

If you mix Flight of the Concords and the Office together and make it about Vampires you have this movie.  It was one of the best comedies I have seen this year.

Does anyone still buy Maxim magazines?  As a teenager it was the fine line that you had to walk to not look a dirt ball and have your parents accept it if they saw it lying around.

Sara and I went camping to the Pinery recently.  Really nice area.  Except there is a raccoon there named Dwight.  Dwight is the fattest raccoon I have ever seen.  He has no fear of humans, and gets into all the people’s trash.  I would still take him over the Barenaked Ladies acoustic guitar guy.