Every time it gets this hot it makes me think of putting on a mesh shirt, cut off jean shorts that show the pockets, and a pair of glasses that have that beautiful top frame. Kind of like this.

Rib Fest is currently going on. Sara and I are venturing down there after she is finished work. How many people have been turned to the dark side by bacon or ribs?

Started watching the show “Humans” recently. Very good scifi show about a group of androids that are able to think for themselves. And the people hunting them. 8.6/10

I have developed ways to move a tale forward told by a long-winded story teller. This only works if you have already heard the story. If you haven’t, you will need to suffer or just be a douche and walk away. You throw in key words that ruin mediocre story parts that are anti-climactic. Try it out. Just not on me, you dick.

A sleeveless Neo jacket from the Matrix is an outfit that we witnessed yesterday. When you put that on there is no telling where the night could end. Are you fighting crime, going to an underground club, or are you just going to the local Money Mart?

Nothing good ever happens when a group of people are holding sticks that have fire bellowing off of the end of it while walking in unison towards a building. If you are in that building, there is no reasoning with them. They have already made up their mind. And you should leave now.

Amy Schumur is the new sweetheart of the world. This seems to happen to us every year or so. We broke up with Jennifer Lawrence, and are now dating Amy Schumur. We are also still casually flirting with Tina Fey and Amy Poehler as well. But it’s nothing. I swear it’s nothing.

(Pan-Am Games rant)

People are extremely upset about Kanye West being the entertainment for the closing ceremonies. They are just trying to sell tickets. What they should have done is have a Canadian act as the co-headliner. Arcade Fire, Drake, or even Hedley could have been the token Canadian act. Why are we so angry about this anyways? Most people didn’t want the games to begin with, and now we are getting upset about the act that they get to close the ceremonies. Yes, he is a megalomaniac. Yes, he is a jerk. But he is one of the biggest names in music and he sells tickets.

Back to regularly scheduled programming. There are people that can’t smell asparagus in their pee. It’s a very small percentage of people, and I wish I was one of them.

I know that there is consequences when I am going to eat a Blizzard. It’s a real balance with how good it’s going to taste, and how bad you are going to feel. Every bite is putting another bullet into the lactose gun. Maybe if I put more chocolate into it I will not be quite as injured? There are many ways you can tip the scales into a more favorable format, but in the end. You still lose, and so does your significant other.

Sometimes I felt bad for the gentle giant at parties. Every time some rough housing would start people would look to him to fix the situation. It was always the same guy that started shit. Now thinking back, the gentle giant should have had pepper spray. That always slows everybody down. Maybe not Jean Claude Van Damme, but the average 106 lb shit talker from Letterkenny, yes.

You had to be stoned to do the camera work for Polka Dot Door. Panning the camera over to a stuffed bear pretending that he is saying something witty is a weird job to have.

Did Yahoo Serious ever sue the search engine Yahoo? He is probably in the outback cooking Armadillo over an open fire as we speak; looking at a “Young Einstein” poster with a single tear running down his face. He might not even know that the internet was created. Or did he create it? Things to think about on a balmy Sunday morning in the tri-cities.

Rapa Nui – 6.1/10 (early 90’s flick)

This is a movie about the aboriginal people that lived on Easter Island. The scenery is nice. Acting is ok. The only reason to watch it is that they have a training montage to prepare for the Birdman competition. No, Michael Keaton is not in this gem.

Top 3 things to do to prepare for Rib Fest.

1. Consume many vegetables the days leading up to the event.
2. Speak caveman, eat meat from bone
3. Put on a mesh shirt and a sleeveless Neo Matrix jacket