Eating Cotton Candy with a Couple of Hosers

Was at a bachelor party on Friday in Collingwood.  Went golfing with a buddy during the day celebrating his good news (I’m similar to dog – always looking to celebrate even if it’s not for me).  Unfortunately, I don’t quite have the stamina at 40 to rock an entire day and night of events.  Funneled a Bud Lite, drank a few IPA’s, and was in bed by like 10 pm.

It was actually much easier to funnel a beer than I remembered.  I haven’t done it in at least a decade.  The most entertaining part though is how your system reacts after the funnel.  Generally, it’s the largest and grossest belch.  Like your internal system is just saying “Daryl you are an a**hole for doing that to me.”

If you haven’t been to Cowbell Brewery you should go.  It’s in Blyth (practically the only thing there – unless you are going to see Mamma Mia).  The place is extraordinary.  Piles of beers on tap, beautiful interior, nice patio, and $2.00 hotdogs.  There was a brief second when I thought about ordering 3 hot dogs for lunch.  It’s only $6.00 I thought to myself.  Then common sense kicked in.  You will be sick for the afternoon and the staff there will think of you as the cheapest man alive.

Mamma Mia is the single worst theatre experience of my life.  Abba isn’t bad in a small dose (like a single song).  When you start to string together their music you begin to lose it mentally.  Everybody else is clapping and singing along; I have my head between my legs trying to figure out a way to roofie myself without the presence of the actual drug.

Went to my bro-in-laws new place in London yesterday.  While enjoying the outdoors we noticed that there was an owl in the tree.  It’s very confusing seeing any type of real wildlife in the suburbs of a major city.  It’s also humorous to me envisioning a small human being carried away in an owl’s claws.  Legs and arms flailing, and the faint “what the fu** is happening?” as they get carried further and further away.

Sara has nearly completed the PCT (around 200 miles away I believe).  Looking at pictures of her it looks like her hair has become a bright red with the sunlight exposure.  She looks extremely healthy and I couldn’t be a more proud husband of her accomplishment(s).  If you don’t know much about the PCT watch the movie/read the book Wild.  It’s a long distance hike from Mexico to Canada in the Western states.

I’ve never seen anybody purchase cotton candy at a ball game before.  I see these Hosers walk up and down the aisle with this giant fuzzy candy and never seen an adult put up their hand.  Fiberglass candy can’t be good for your insides.  Plus you look like a moron when you bite into it.  If you get it for your child they would have a stomach ache after two bites.  Now you feel like you have to take it home due to the $11.00 cost – so you are stuck holding this stupid troll doll looking hair candy for 6 innings.

Did you know where the word Hoser originated from?  Most people would guess it was the days of Bob and Doug Mackenzie (as I did as well).  This is not true – a Hoser is somebody that used to spray the ice with water in between periods of hockey games.  It was a crappy job with very little pay.   This was stated to a co-worker by an American prospect that we were calling into.  This useless Canadian fact was brought to you by maple syrup.  “Tap that tree and watch the gold flow.”

When it’s a sunny Sunday as it is today and it’s week 2 of the NFL season you really go through emotional anxiety.  It’s 29 degrees, but there is football on.  There are only a few nice weekends remaining, but the Packers play the Vikings at 1.  You could be golfing – you enjoy golf, shut up brain, I need you for fantasy football today and not for guilt.

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