Sending Cameo Videos to the Wasp Hunter

Even as a self-proclaimed well put together dude, the constant pounding of bad news and the world being in turmoil is starting to wear me down.  My company has decided that we should continue to work from home until 2021.  What does this mean going into winter?  You look outside that window and see snow piling up, search the internet and either see something Trump has done or Covid cases are rising.  You’re bombarded by stats and experts warning you of everything from global warming to being in quarantine for another full year… I can’t imagine being someone that is already battling depression or anxiety.

Now that you know the world is shit…

How do comedians perform for drive-in crowds?  Do cars honk their horns when they like a joke?  The only good thing about this is that there likely isn’t a shot that you’ll get heckled while in a car.  Unless you’re repping the nutsack on the back of the truck – that’ll likely get you a chirp or two.

The one thing that’s good about this pandemic is that I get out of awkward hugs after seeing people – giving a wave is the absolute best.  The hug sometimes has a kiss on the cheek as well, I have no idea how to position myself and sometimes headbutt the person – all of this gets taken away with the wave. 

During a coed slopitch game this past week, I went way past the acceptable amount of intensity.  Playing for the ‘b’ championship in a league at the Cambridge Ice Park should only be a 5/10 intensity level.  I ripped a 9/10 by throwing my glove against the fence after the final out of a 1 run victory.  Last year the winning team received a backpack that said Cambridge Ice Park Hockey Champions (or something similar) and we were playing baseball. 

Sport car purchases are on the rise.  This is obviously a result of the world being at a stand-still and needing excitement.  Pretty sad existence by having to buy a 40k car to rip up and down Margaret Ave at 2 am, once a week.  Soon we’re going to see vehicles that have fire coming out of the back.  Maybe someone strapped to the front playing the electric guitar… wait, I think this was a movie?

Top 3 Breweries in Tri-City Area

3 – Counterpoint Brewing – good dudes and great hazy IPA’s.  They’ve stepped it up recently and released a few great porters and stouts as well.

2 – Wavemaker – Don’t brew a tonne of different beers, but when they make an IPA it’s always fantastic.

1 – Jackass Brewing – Have mastered the art of the New England IPA.  Really good guys that have a great patio in the back and the coolest symbol of all the breweries in the area.

Hunting is weird – I don’t even like seeing a deceased animal on the side of the road.  I can’t imagine wanting to kill something like a deer… One thing that I wouldn’t mind hunting is wasps – fu** those guys.  I’d have a stick that would just electrocute them one by one.  My soundtrack would just be ‘Kickstart my Heart’ by Motley Crue the entire time.  My costume would be Bam Bam Bigelow’s wrestling outfit – head tattoo and all.

I’ve never owned an umbrella – can only think of 10 times in my life that it would have really come in handy. 

Seeing memes of people dropping knowledge and using a celebrity’s picture that doesn’t make any sense is one of my favourite things.  Picture of Brad Pitt pointing at you from Fight Club talking about problems with the Liberal Government. 

There is a website called Cameo.  It has a bunch of ‘c’ and ‘d’ celebrity actors that will film a small clip and send it to someone for a fee.  There are a bunch of awesome old school wrestlers that have examples up.  If we go into full quarantine, I’m going to send random people messages from actors or athletes that they’ve never heard of before.  Fred Anderson (Zombie from Resident Evil) “wishes you a happy Wednesday, hope you are enjoying the latest episode of Star Trek: Lower Decks, and that the pancakes that you made were up to par.”

As you all (should) know, Sara had Covid at the start of all of this.  Since she’s recovered, I’ve beaten her multiple times at games that she used to own me at (Catan, Connect Four, Jaipur).  Now, she has a great excuse why I keep winning – Covid brain.  This has been her one bright spot of the pandemic.

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