Even as the words came out of my mouth I knew that they didn’t make any sense. “I thought Sausage Party would be a little bit wittier and smarter.” It’s called Sausage Party. Why would I think that?
The golf clubs might be hung up for another year. They went out with a high, and it’s very unlikely that they will strike the ball that well for the rest of the year. It’s called the George Castanza. You go out on top, and don’t look back. The high for me is shooting an 84.
If you uttered or thought the comment “was that on 9”; you have no shot in the stand-up comedy scene. Any laugh that you receive on that joke is called a pity laugh, and most people hope that you go away after saying it.
I was notified today by Sara that there are people drilling holes in new iPhone 7 thinking that there headphones would work after this was done. These people should be put down.
Trump and Hillary have a debate coming up this weekend. The person on the news believes that Trump is more likely to say something that will hurt his chances than Hillary. On the contrary. He could state that blowing up the moon with laser cats is a good idea, and he wouldn’t lose one supporter.
Sausage Party – 5.6/10
Where has the smart humor gone? There hasn’t been a solid comedy that has come out in a few years. They actually usually coincide with the good of Will Ferrell and every time Wes Anderson releases a flick.
There is new music to talk about as well. Have you been missing the sounds of Echo and the Bunnymen? No, or never heard of them? Well, move on. If your answer was yes. Then have a listen to the self-titled album by the Preoccupations. It’s one of the first solid albums of 2016.
Our Lady Peace and I Mother Earth are playing Halloween night at Centre in the Square. Rumors are that when the clock strikes 10pm on Halloween night with these two bands and their original line up together that every fan will be transported to a half-price flannel sale in 1995.
Sunday morning is excellent for banana pancakes and the largest coffee that you can possibly find. You will have a weird sugar and caffeine high clutching your pro-line tickets watching the clock with anticipation until 1pm when football starts. You will then hit a wall at 1pm after you come down from the high, and probably have a nap at 1:47pm watching a scoreless Bills/Cardinals game.
I am debating buying goaltending equipment to begin to play hockey again. Then I remember how much damn equipment that you need to be a goalie. I also remember how much getting hit in the groin by a puck hurts. You always have that guy that’s on your team in warmups that wants to show how hard his slap-shot is from the hash marks. He never knows where it’s going, and his laugh is similar to a stoned Seth Rogen. Even after saying all of this I have opened 3 Kijiji ads for hockey equipment.
As we watch the Blue Jays march towards that Wild Card Playoff game remember that getting to the playoffs is a fu**ing difficult thing to do as a mid-market team in the AL East. Enjoy every moment of it.