NHL

Petting Turtles While at the Poker Table in Vegas

Posted on by Hosehead

Some of my social media accounts were hacked last weekend and I’ve spent the entire week changing passwords, reporting incidents, and apparently helping people make BIG money in crypto. The low point was sitting at the Jays game, watching them get blown out on Sunday, baking in the sun, and fire-fighting with my Instagram account. If a little kid booted me in the balls that’s the only way that things could have gotten worse.

On the positive side, I received a disability cheque from the Government due to having colitis. It was comical going through the interviewing process… “how many times do you go to the washroom per day?” “Would you say the amount of time in the bathroom has caused your work to suffer?” Would you be more productive if you weren’t in the washroom so much?” It made me feel like George Castenza that I have a permanent work office in the can.

I’m going to Vegas twice this year. I really have no idea why I like Vegas so much – maybe the fact that it’s utterly ridiculously fake or that there’s is action at all times, or, that you can people watch the entire vacation and likely be amused. The last time there I saw a man with a cowboy hat at a poker table, the next morning he was still in the exact same seat but wearing shades. It makes me feel better about myself that my mild gambling habit hasn’t caused me to rip a cowboy hat and play poker for 12 straight hours.

The key to Vegas is having a plan. You can get stuck in stasis with sooo much to do and see – that you end up at a Pauly Shore comedy show and eating at Johnny Rockets. Have a plan, stick to it, and forget the Visa in the safe in the room.

Began running again, it really helps take the edge off of a stressful job. I’m also back in the nodding club… this is the people that are also exercising and taking care of their bodies – you get a slight nod of acceptance every time you run past them. The former club I was in (The Falls Road Bar Fly Club) has revoked my membership and is only allowing a single Guinness for each trip there.

My old man is a Hawks fan and I’m a Flyers fan – we currently have a contest of who is the worst run NHL team in the league between our two favourite teams. Tony DeAngelo for 3 draft picks!?!? He fought his own goalie, had a racial slur on ice, and was pissed when Trump was banned from Twitter to the point where he tried to fight it online. Yup, Flyers doing Flyers things with that pick-up. Maybe, they should see if they can pull Ron Hextall out of retirement.

If you ever want to feel bad about taking care of yourself – go to see a dental hygenist. My teeth are actually in pretty decent shape according to my dentist, but if my hygenist had anything to say about it, she would believe that my teeth might begin to fall out like a meth addict if I don’t begin flossing 16 times a day.

My favourite people to talk to during sales calls are from the South. There’s nothing better than getting a verbal from a guy from Tennessee with a “hell ya, I can get that done before then”.

Sara and I are finally going to pull the trigger on a dog. She has attempted to trick me by saying we can just visit dogs, or, we should get a robot dog, or, what about a fish. I’m standing my ground and we’re going to get a dog from the human society… fast-forward 6 months, Daryl is petting a turtle named Benny after Benjamin Sisko in Star Trek… “this isn’t so bad, I guess” Benny looks up at Daryl wondering what the fu** he’s doing petting him.

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Challenging all People in Deck Shoes to a Duel.

Posted on by Hosehead

I don’t DJ all that much now, but when I do I have to ask for help of what’s popular to dance to.  So…. Lady Gaga isn’t popular anymore?  What about Pearl Jam?  You don’t know who Pearl Jam is?  Well, let me show you Alive.  What do you mean this is terrible?

There isn’t a bone in my body that enjoys UFC.  It actually makes me feel uncomfortable.  They should have cute dogs barking at them while the neanderthals scrap.

It’s a well known fact that I am not good with children.  There is nothing to talk about with them.  But I did find out that telling them that they are a moron for thinking that The Secret Life of Pets is the best movie of the year is frowned upon.

Secret Life of Pets – 7.5/10

Rapping is extremely difficult.  Many times people have attempted it at karaoke, but most fail miserably.  Becoming out of breath by just talking seems like a waste of energy.

Tacos have become the new bacon.  I have grown tired of those memes.  Show me something original.  Medium sized white man wearing a pastel green shirt, asking for a box of gobstoppers for dinner.  It doesn’t make sense, but at least it’s original.

White Reebok shoes and a good pair of deck shoes would take you through a good 10 years of your life as a middle-aged man in the late 80’s and early 90’s.

Foxy Hamilton is a good name for an Exotic Dancer or a Private Detective from Harlem in the late 70’s.

Purchased NHL 17 today.  There were two options.  The standard game for $49.99 or the game with the figurine of Vladimir Tarasenko for $49.99.  I stated that I would take the game with the action figure for $49.99.  I also stated that the action figure was for my nephew.  Then, I stated that I don’t know why I said that.  This was the end of this transaction.  A simple purchase that became horribly awkward by D Smith.

One thing that is probably a common saying in most people’s households today.  “Let’s have a burger tonight.  I am so fu**ing sick of turkey that I never want to eat it again.  Fu** you turkey.”  That might be a bit aggressive at the end, but at least the first part could be accurate.

Was never a huge fan of Toucan Sam.  Always thought his noise would find other cereals as well as Fruit Loops.  There many cereals that smell like sniffing a bag of sweet tarts.

There is an always an awkward time when people look around the room for the guy that was laughing when somebody got their head chopped of in a horror movie.  Sorry!  I don’t know why I find this humorous.

Top 3 Christmas moments if you received a horse as a gift.

  1. Pulling the horse along the icy sidewalk yesterday morning.  Oh, that would have been a treat.  “Come on Bucky, maybe you should have better shoes on?”
  2. Feeding the horse only Kraft Dinner to see what happens.
  3. Stating to people that you would like to challenge them to a duel while riding your horse triumphantly around Victoria St at 7am on Boxing Day morning.

 

 

 

Overrating NHL Goaltenders

Posted on by Hosehead

With tonight being game one of the Stanley Cup Finals I thought I would write about the overrating of number one goaltenders in the NHL.

Things have changed over the years in hockey. In years past you could always count on your number one goaltender to steal game after game. Goaltenders such as Patrick Roy, Martin Brodeur, Carey Price, and Henrik Lundqvist were staples needed to win a cup. Detroit seemed to be one of the first teams to debunk this myth. They rode a hot Mike Vernon and a mediocre Chris Osgood to Stanley Cup victories. Now you are seeing the same thing with Corey Crawford. His numbers are good. But would you consider Corey Crawford to be an elite goaltender?

It’s all about the system that is played in front of the team. If you have a team that plays a very good puck possession and defensive game you can nearly put anybody back in net and they will look like a star. If you take the Los Angeles Kings for example. Even when Jon Quick isn’t in net, the backups have very similar numbers. Could Ben Scrivens have won a cup if he was the starter? I am not sure that we can go that far, but it’s a debate that you could have. How did Ilya Bryzgalov fair when he was removed from the Phoenix Coyotes trap system? He can answer that after he is finished counting his cash from his buyout.

There isn’t a huge difference between a star net-minder and a decent one. There are multiple coaches that seem to ride the hot hand. Just look at what Chicago did in these current playoffs. They had no problem with starting Scott Darling for a couple of games just to see what he could do. This is what happens when you have a fantastic team in front of you. The one goaltender in the NHL currently that can win a series by himself seems to be Carey Price. I believe that you can replace every other goaltender in the NHL. Have you ever noticed that European goaltenders will come out of nowhere and steal the show? Antti Niemi, Pekka Rinne, and Frederik Andersson to name a few. There is such a slim margin between net-minders in the NHL now.

The days of the 7-8 million dollar contracts over 7 or 8 years for goaltenders is probably over. Sometimes you witness the burden of the contract to great for the player. Jimmy Howard is somewhat going through that now. Roberto Luongo just went through that in Vancouver. It doesn’t matter how great your stats are in the regular season. The team that is paying you big money, and expects you to carry them throughout the playoffs as well. How many years did we witness a Vancouver Canucks team that couldn’t score, and were eliminated from the playoffs early? Luongo would take the blame.

The best NHL teams now have a system in place that all is required from the goaltender is a few key saves. Just don’t let in the big goal. They don’t need to be spectacular. Just good enough for the team to stay in the game. We are seeing this year after year. And we will probably continue to see it even more in the years to come. Coming from a Philadelphia Flyers fan this is going to sound weird, but goaltenders are expendable.