Squirrels shooting up Omega 3’s in Palm Springs with Leo DiCaprio

It’s difficult to access the part of my brain that is meant for humour right now. But I will not let anyone affect my life because of their senseless actions. Pause for everyone that has been involved in any type of terrorist attack.

Was sent to Palm Springs recently by work. I can sum up all you need to know about Palm Springs by letting you know that a man that was at the table beside me fell asleep sitting up at the airport while waiting for his food. The waitress gave him the quiet “sir” to wake him from his slumber. He went directly to eating his food and drinking his beer when he awoke.

Marco Estrada for 2yrs/26 million. Yup, all day.

Found out that Leo DiCaprio purchased a house in Palm Springs recently. Was hoping to gain access to his entourage. I feel that I would be a good add to his group. I don’t have any skills in particular, but I could always tell him how handsome he looked, and that he was robbed at the Oscars again.

Omega 3 pills that say that they don’t have a fishy after taste, should actually say that it only has 2 hours of fishy aftertaste.

I really enjoy eating fish, but I hate being that guy that makes the whole lunch room reek like tilapia. Even though I do like to count how many people bring up that it smells like fish in the lunch-room.

Squirrels can’t figure out what’s going on. They have all of their nuts ready to rock and roll for the winter, but the weather is still fairly decent – so they decided that they would just play chicken with my car each and every day.

When your wife says to you that you are getting onto a bus to go on a Tomb Raider amazing race type of thing you always say yes.

Is there an alternate universe where Wes Anderson is directing a Transformers movie?

James Bond: Spectre – 7.7/10
Entourage – 4.5/10
Vacation – 5.3/10

Entourage and Vacation were basically my only options on the plane. Entourage seems about as outdated as a Maxim Magazine with Meg Ryan on the cover.

Ronda Rousey lost her fight last night and the internet exploded. I don’t watch UFC whatsoever, but that kick to the face made me cringe.

You know what movie makes me angry – “Up.” You can’t have a man trying to hide his tears at the start of the movie. You have to play it cool for the rest of the hour and a half of the movie. At least in other movies, you can go to the kitchen and grab a beer, open chip bags, or walk the dog; because it’s at the end. “Up” gives you no chance. Sara sees right through that “there is something in my eye” line. Then you receive that “oh, it’s ok hug” which only makes it worse.

I was picked up at the airport on Friday. My driver had one and only one interest. Talking about traffic. I have never had an hour long conversation about traffic before. I didn’t even know it was possible. He didn’t even fall for my pretending to sleep move, the conversation about traffic must continue.

Top 3 things that I can’t see James Bond doing.

3 – Eating a Schneiders Hot-Dog.  No hot-dog cooking method seems right for 007.

2 – Having diarrhea – even the Mongolian Grill wouldn’t get through that iron stomach.

1 – Singing along at a Toby Keith concert – Red Solo Cup sung by Bond?

I can’t end the blog on this note.  I was once attacked by my cat that I had to hide behind a chair.  The cat paced out front of the chair taunting me, and then faked walking off.  When I thought the coast was clear that cat leaped out of nowhere onto my leg.  I shuffled around the room trying to get the cat off of my leg.  The worst part about this day was that I was hungover and I think the cat sensed that.  It tormented me at my weakest moment.

Joe Buck and his wonderful day in upstate New York with Alcides Escobar

The Jays are out. It was a heartbreaking defeat. They were beat by the better team. Unfortunately in playoff baseball you can’t live and die by the long ball. And that’s exactly what they tried to do. Situational hitting is a must at this level. Jose Bautista tried to will the team to victory with home run after home run in big spots. This team would be long gone if it wasn’t for his efforts.

Top 3 things Fox announcers are doing after the Royals put out the Jays.

1. Joe Buck is going for a nice evening with Alcides Escobar in the wine region of New York. They will reminisce on his brilliant over-reactions to seeing-eye singles while riding side by side on horseback. It will just be a superb day.
2. Harold Reynolds will go back to staring at the wall until the next game starts.
3. Fox has announced that each fan in the outfield must grow an Amish beard as a salute to a great American hero.

It’s amusing to look at all the Facebook posts after the election took place. Every PC backer talks about money, and, well, that’s it. Every NDP backer says, well at least it’s not Harper. And the rest of the world is talking about how gorgeous Justin is.

There was never really a time that I enjoyed going to gym class less then when we had to learn how to line dance. There were 2 – 1 hour sessions of my life that I will never get back. And that fact that I know how to line dance a bit is a feeling I will have to live with the rest of my life.

Pizza Pops did quite of damage to me as a child. There was nothing you could do once that pizza goo was in your mouth and it was 300 degrees Celsius. You were done. You tried to create saliva as fast as possible, but you ended up just getting burning hot pizza goo onto your chin. Thinking back now – why didn’t I use a knife and fork?

All the years of golf that I have played, and I have never bagged myself trying to hit a golf ball in between two trees.

I was a goaltender in hockey when I was growing up. That’s all, I thought I would just bring that up. Oh, and I was bagged a lot then.

Why weren’t clear braces made up until a decade ago? It was bad enough that I had to wear pieces of metal in my mouth, but did you have to make it look like my mouth was part of a Terminator movie?

When you looked in somebody’s fridge growing up there was always two jugs of things that looked like orange juice. One was Tang and one was actually orange juice. I never thought to open it up to smell it; so I always just picked the one that had the most unnatural orange colour. I think that I ran a 98% mark of getting Tang. After thinking about this now, that wasn’t all that impressive.

One of these days I would like to complain about the rain; because I just had the car washed.

Harold Reynolds and his mission to ruin Thanksgiving in Canada

Happy Thanksgiving – sometimes I wish I had one of those families that had that uncle that was going through a divorce, had a little too much to drink, and starts spilling all the beans on the family business.  Unfortunately, my family is pretty normal.

Top 3 creepy things you can do while at the Thanksgiving parade

  1.  Eat an ice cream cone by yourself, but eat it at a much slower pace than usual, and look around at the crowd while doing it.
  2. Cheer out of control for things.  Whether it be candy or just a float with advertising on it.  Uncontrollable cheering will always be appreciated.
  3. Take off your shirt and wrap it around your waist while sporting a decent pair of ’80s villain shades.  Then continue to weave in and out of the crowd, gently bumping into people.

When you wake up in the middle of the night and have a hard time falling back asleep some of things that you think about are weird.  I was debating getting up and putting some potato chips in the freezer.  I remember them tasting much better after doing that.

Thanksgiving Tacos – is this a thing for anyone?  I understand that Turkey is the thing, but since most of us go to multiple Thanksgivings; we could maybe throw this into the mix.  Ground turkey, cilantro, onion, spinach, salsa, and sour cream.

The aging process will always hit you the same way when you are in your mid-30s.  You will begin to walk outside in the fall and just marvel at the beauty of the trees.  Any other time of your life, you either complain about Winter coming or that you have to clean up the leaves on the yard.

The Martian – 9.0/10

This is an extremely realistic look at a man being abandoned on Mars and having to try to survive.  It’s so realistic that many people took to the Twitter world and asked if this was based on a true story.  74% of these people are also voting PC this election.

I have faith in the Toronto Blue Jays and the Green Bay Packers.  I cannot say the same for the Philadelphia Flyers.  They stink!  They might struggle in a game against the Listowel Jr. “B” Cyclones.

Work sent me to Orlando recently.  Unlike Vegas, it is nearly impossible to get into trouble near Disney.  “Oh sir, the nightlife is everywhere here.  There is a great wings restaurant that is open till 10pm.  They have margarita’s and hot wings.  That is if you are really living on the edge.”

Everybody is upset with Harold Reynolds.  He stated during the Jays game last night the following.  “There’s not a lot of people playing baseball in Canada.  They’re not used to catching a lot of balls in the stands.”  Hopefully this goes to 5 games so we can say not very nice things to him and pelt him with Timbits.  Then apologize after.

The nectar of the Gods is available at Innocente Brewery.  It’s called their Charcoal Porter.

If you wear tighter shirts your muscles do look larger.  But you have to be careful.  Your beer gut also appears to be larger as well.  Maybe I will get a shirt that is tight up top, but loose on the bottom.  Wait, that’s a dress.

The board game Pandemic should state in the rules that if you have had 6 beers or more that your brain would be better suited to play Ticket to Ride.  After 12, it’s Snakes and Ladders.

If I ever received a phone call and somebody was using the voice box on the other line.  I would just hang up.  I can guarantee that whatever you say is not a good deal for me.

Liquid metal did it all for the Nookie

Volkswagon! Why? “Also the airbags don’t work. Didn’t think anyone would notice that either.”

Kurt Vile has made a wonderful new record – b’lieve I am goin down. Guitar work is immaculate, and the tone of the whole album in general is just a thing of beauty. 8.9/10

I like being experimental with food. Except for with chips. You are the worst if you are hosting an event and everybody is enjoying the evening and you go to grab snacks and this is said right after. “I haven’t tried these before, but they look great. Avocado barbeque chips anyone?” I know some of you think that sounds good. Well, it kind of does, but please have dill pickle on file just in case.

Me, Earl, and the Dying Girl – 8.4/10

Perfectly shot and fantastically written. Tough story line, but really well done. I recommend this to everyone, including you Dhooma. If it has more than 3 paragraphs of dialogue and no robots Dhooma is out.

Fantasy Football is a roller coaster of emotion. You believe your team is solid. Davante Adams is going to break out this year. 2 weeks later. “Davante Adams is sh**!”

In recent studies it has shown that Toronto is the worst city in North America to drive in. Great night tonight. Paid $200.00 for each Leaf ticket, was stuck in traffic for 2 hours. Paid $40.00 for parking, and the Leafs lost 5-0. And we are just now figuring out that this isn’t a fantastic evening for the whole family.

At one point in my life I was playing the Sims and made the Sims all my current friend’s names. I would walk around town and talk to them and see what they were up to. It was entertaining to see what they were doing, and see how closely they resembled my actual friends. I then realized that I could actually really do this if I wanted to, and stopped playing the game.

There was always that one kid at the pool that attempted to do crazy stunts off of the diving board. You knew one of these times he was going to really hurt someone or himself, but somehow it never happened. Wonder what he is doing now?

Everyone always feels uncomfortable around police officers. Even if we aren’t doing anything wrong. We just assume that they are like the Terminator from T2. They are going to look right at us, understand that there was a point that we did glance at our phone while driving; morph from liquid metal into a motorcycle and come after us.

There should be support groups for bad music that we have purchased when we were younger. Sit around in a circle and talk about it. “How did you feel the first time that you heard Nookie? Did you feel like you did it all for that?”

Halloween is coming up. I do enjoy dressing up. I always get put into costumes that are extremely uncomfortable, and have to grow a moustache for. Actually I think this is my own doing. I just look so damn attractive with that beautiful area of hair above my upper lip.

There are three times in my life that I have agreed to things that I wouldn’t have normally agreed to; because I didn’t hear what they said and was just trying to be polite.

You would think that I would follow this up with my top 3, but the Jays game is starting.  D Smith out!

Moustaches and the Price to Pay for the Morphine Addiction that Follows

Going to Blue Jays game number 7 today. Dickey is once again on the mound. I always try to buy tickets to slow paced knuckleballers so I can consume the most beer possible throughout the day.

Movati gym is gorgeous. Going at 5am is a very unique experience. You sit in a hot tub with 70 year old men and discuss politics. Stanley made a great joke about Stephen Harper’s lack of personality, we chuckled – it was a good day.

The Tea Party came to town to play The Edges of Twilight from start to finish. It was a great show. He still looks like Jim Morrison. For some reason they didn’t offer the vinyl copy of the album. Who buys CD’s? I prefer something that requires a lot of work to listen to please. Makes you work for the experience. I like to hand-wash my clothes as well.

Kurt Vile has a new record coming out at the end of this month. If you have listened to me ooze about his last album you will know that I am just downright giddy for the follow up.

Walk in the Woods – 3.4/10
Get Hard – 4.6/10
Straight Outta of Compton – 8.7/10

If you would like to see what a heart attack would look like if it was a person watch Nick Nolte in Walk in the Woods. Robert Redford reminds me of that friend that always says that he would be good at stand up, and in the back of your mind you think to yourself – you would be awful.

Work sent me to Vegas. I am also being sent to Orlando in October. I know it’s tough, but somebody has to go to these places.

After eating at Boston Pizza does anybody receive the bill and think to themselves “That was a great $70.00 spent?” I always feel like Zoodles and two room temperature Bud Lite’s would be about 76% as good as what I just ate here.

Never liked the teachers that wrote their name with such authority on the black board the first time that I met them. Every single student thinks you are going to be a dick if you do this.

It’s a very strange existence for the generation that grew up in the ‘90s have. We are right in between the age of hard work and the age of innovation. We think everybody that is younger is lazy, and think everybody that is older are dinosaurs and won’t accept technology. But mostly we just get offended by everything, and are sad that we got degrees in subjects that there are no jobs in.

Moustaches quickly vanished. There was a time a couple of years ago that 7% of the male population rocked a moustache. This style was traded in for a razor. They didn’t shave the moustache though. They decided to shave part of their head, and comb the rest of their hair over it. This style died out in 2018. Here we see….

I think that started as a comment on moustaches and became being walked around the museum of style by a guide?

Sara and I booked trips to Paris. There was a mistake fare of course. We haven’t decided where we are going to go when we get to Paris though. Maybe Belgium, Hungary, or Morocco? Maybe Bed, Bath, and Beyond. Just not sure if we will have time though.

We all pretend that we are really into live music when it’s a surprise at a pub. We are like “oh yeah a band.” We are into it for a couple of songs, and then realize that it’s impossible to talk over the band playing Summer of ’69. But we still pretend to enjoy ourselves yelling into the ear of the person directly beside you.

I know blogs have been scarce recently. I am trying to get back on the band wagon. My morphine addiction has taken hold and I should be able to write more now.

Gowron raising money for his Kickstarter campaign in Port Dover

Blue Jay fans are completely on the bandwagon. We had to buy tickets a month out for the Red Sox series recently. I do think scalpers deserve this though. It’s been twenty years of trading September Blue Jay tickets for Raul Mondesi 3rd year Topps near mint condition cards.

Finally went for a haircut. When the hardest part of your life is trying to find a time with your hairdresser; because of your 9-5 schedule, you are probably doing alright.

I know you want your child’s name to be unique. I realize you want them to feel special. They will thank you if you just give them a name that is easy to spell. Rebekkah has wasted 379 hours spelling her name to strangers in the future.

In Montreal they are changing some of the Liberal signs to Klingon Gowron signs due to its dark colours. I approve.

gowron

Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation – 8.7/10
Terminator: Genysis shithead from the future that goes back in time as part-machine – 2.1/10

If you are not watching Sense8, you should be. One of the best character developed scifi shows that I have seen in years. It’s on Netflix, and available on all things jail-broken.

When I was a young lad I always remember one of my birthdays in particular. I had received a present that was a squirt gun that contained purple liquid that my mother thought would stain the entire house. She watched in complete horror as it was sprayed all over the house with giddiness by young children. It was consumed with delight as it looked like purple kool-aid. This was the best and worst birthday gift of all time. It did stain the house, and we had to sell the house at a reduced value afterwards.

After working in retail for many years I can now safely say that the worst joke to say to somebody working in retail is when they ask if you need a hand – is to clap.

The feeling of getting a brown envelope in your mail box is either fantastic or terrible. There is no in between.

If women want to bike topless – go ahead. I’ve had to see many of men walking in downtown Kitchener with a smoke in their mouth, jean shorts on, with their Motley Crue shirt around their waste. It would be a nice change of pace.

I prefer not to discuss politics in my blog. But Orange Crush is a very tasty soda.

Now thinking back of going to the driving range, I kind of feel bad about aiming at the dude on the tractor that was rounding up all the golf balls. That was a dick move by Smith, and I apologize if it has any lingering effects on your adult life. You did get 500 made-up points for hitting the tractor though.

One of my few talents is to look like I am really trying hard to lift something heavy when there is 4 people lifting something into a truck. Really, I am just doing enough so it doesn’t hit the ground.

I joined a gym. I joined Movati. Which used to be called the Athletic Club. I never thought this day would ever happen. I am pretty sure I owe somebody ten bucks from my home town.

Did everybody enjoy Boot’s and Hearts a couple of weekends ago? I would rather have a full pickle jar thrown at my grown by David Price from 7 feet away than go to that festival.

Sara and I were recently in the Port Dover area. We visited a couple of breweries and wineries; had a little lunch in the Dover, and then ventured back home. We tried to fit in Home Depot, but we just didn’t have time.

Thong sandals feel like a violation on my toes.

Some people like the idea of breakfast in bed. Until it actually happens. You are eating pancakes drenched over syrup on a small table, over a $300.00 white duvet. “Kids, I just really want to eat with you guys in the kitchen.”

Just recently Sara and I went to our first Kickstarter campaign. It involved a free dinner, a couple of free drinks, and an iPad win for Daryl. Just another Sunday night for the Smith-Dhooma team.

Train Rides after Witnessing a Unicorn wearing a Big Johnson Shirt.

I turned 37 yesterday. I still haven’t really figured anything out. I guess you just keep on doing things that you love to do, and hang out with the people that you enjoy hanging out with. Is it that simple?
Saturday was my birthday pub crawl in Downtown Kitchener. Had a grand old time with friends and family. My actual birthday was a day of re-hydration and Swiss Chalet.

The Jays have made massive moves to improve the team. I wasn’t completely sold on the Tulowitzki trade. That is until they pulled off the David Price trade. Dickey and Buerhle have been pitching lights out recently as well. I am not sure if they can catch the Yanks, but they should be in the one game playoff.

Super Meat Boy is a game. It’s a very popular game. You compete levels and blood puddles on the screen in areas that you are dragging your meat boy body around. This is the type of thing that needs to be created if you would like to become rich.

The local theatre is showing a Counter-strike tournament on the big screen. You don’t play. You watch people playing a video game. Are people going to illegally record this on a camera and put it on YouTube? I don’t know what’s cool anymore?

Top 3 most nervous times in the childhood of Daryl Smith.

1. Facing Mike Tyson in the final match in Punchout. My face was 2 feet from the TV screen, and my hands would shake with the fear of getting “knocked the fu** out.”
2. Having to go to the front of the class in Grade 2 and do a book report on James and the Giant Peach without actually reading the book.
3. Being extremely close to having to wear head gear at school. Who invented this? Did it have to be so gigantic?

After going to the dentist recently, I was told that I generated an awful lot of saliva. I was confused whether this was good or bad; so I just said thank-you.

Train Wreck – 8.9/10
The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel – 5.7/10

Train Wreck is excellent. Amy Schumur is fantastic, and extremely refreshing in this role. Just watching somebody putting together an actual realistic comedy with a few spurts of romance is a thing of beauty when done properly. Bill Hader is solid, and Lebron is actually very good as well. Great movie.

Stepping on Lego does suck. Why does it always have to happen at 6:25 am? I no longer have to worry about these things, but a simple reminder to have your children put their Lego away.

Zero interest in hot air balloons. A man with colitis and a fear of heights does not do well in these situations.

You need to have a certain look to be a local mechanic. Grizzled, straight talking, and in between the heights of 5’5” and 5’8”. Being able to smoke a pack a day is a bonus point.

I actually witnessed somebody wearing a Big Johnson shirt. It was a mint condition shirt, tucked into jean shorts. It was like watching a beautiful stallion within a herd of Holstein cattle.

big-jhonson

Tame Impala has a new album out. It is absolutely beautiful. It’s a danceable psychedelic medley. 9.4/10.

There are still people that are using the push/pull lawn mower. It feels like there should be more people using this. Especially with houses being built with exactly 7 square feet of lawn.

They are producing Chuck Taylor’s with better insoles. They are about 25% more expensive. One of the experiences about wearing Chuck Taylor’s is the feeling of just strapping cardboard to your foot.

Recently in the UK a man drugged his girlfriend so that he could continue to play video games. George and Jerry, action figures, anybody, Bueller, Bueller.

ceila

I am amazed by people with artistic skills. The humans that I draw always either have arms coming out of their neck or have weird rubber, circular arms.

It is very hipster, but I would like my next birthday to be a train ride to Stratford to visit the brewery, and to see a play. I know, better be careful, what an animal.

An Oath to better prepare math teachers at the buffet line

The multicultural festival was this past weekend in Kitchener. This is an event where you can go and enjoy food from nearly every type of ethnic origin in the area. The only thing we missed out on was the giant turkey leg. You really don’t want the meat sweats in 30 degree weather though.

Jurassic World – 8.2/10

Terrific movie. Really like that they just pretended that the last two Jurassic Park’s didn’t take place whatsoever. Chris Pratt again is solid. It’s a perfect movie for theatre going. Fun for the whole family. Dinosaurs eating humans is always entertaining.

When are the PC ads going to target the NDP? This has to be coming soon. They might have a hard time with the same ads. Tom Mulcair too handsome for politics?

Went to the horse races for the first time in about ten years on Friday. What a grand old time. Even by just having two dollars on a horse makes you yell like a lunatic at a window without the ability for anybody of importance to hear you. Except that seriously angry old-man that is here to win money. He gave me the newbie look at least three times.

As a young lad I thought I would always eat at buffets when growing up. I thought, well you have everything here. Why wouldn’t I always just get this?

Somebody needs to give Brett Cecil a hug.

Sara and I just started to get back into Helix. The show and the band. What a fantastic show this is. It has the creepy vibe turned to 10. Disease outbreak that starts on an island. Two stories run side by side thirty years apart about how the disease started, and how they are trying to stop the outbreak 30 years in the future. 8.9/10

How do psychics stay in business? I guess they don’t have any overhead costs. They don’t really need to sharpen their skills. Just a deck of cards and some candles. Can you be spiritual without table and the dark room? Or is this to show the spirits that you are serious, and you need answers?

Math teachers were extremely wrong about not always having a calculator with you at all times.

If you constantly have problems with underarm stains on your shirts there is an easy solution. You wear an undershirt. The last thing that you want is to give jerk-ass 13 year old kids firepower when you can prevent it by just wearing a t-shirt.

Throwing on Sportsnet 360 a few days ago I heard a WWE superstar Seth Rollins grab the mic in Cleveland. He is currently the champion. He had one of the best speeches that I have heard. “Johnny-idiot face over there isn’t going to bring you a championship. Neither is Lebron. This is the closest that you will be to a championship. You better enjoy it.” Johnny Manziel was in the crowd.

We are on a kick of trying to take advantage of everything for free. This caused me to go down to a known elderly person hangout to receive a hotdog and enter a ballot for a bike. One of the things that I had to do was guess what colour the quilt was that had the smallest pattern. I guessed it right off of the bat. It’s the one with the smallest shapes was my thought. They were shocked that I got it with my first guess. I was then forced to ask questions about what they were making so I didn’t look rude. At the end of this experience, I am not sure if I am any better or worse. But I did know that I wasn’t going to get those 28 minutes back.

I think I would still go to Jurassic World if they re-opened it back up in a week. I would just think to myself. They are for-sure ready for dinosaurs in cages now.

It seems to be tougher to be spiritual when you are sitting cross-legged in the snow instead of in the sun. Spirituality works a lot better when it’s a beautiful day.

People in the future are going to think that we were idiots for putting up with commercials for as long as we did. “You spent how long watching a guy from Toronto talk about jewelry while waving fistfuls of cash in your face?” Yeah, and that was one of the better ones.

When I see a grown man spinning around in circles on a lawn with his arms spread out wide, I cross the street to the other sidewalk. This is an oath that I have decided to take unknowingly.

The Bullpen Organism

After watching the highly entertaining Jays/Orioles series we witnessed a battle of strengths.  We watched the Jays offense strike at a Orioles pitching staff.  We observed the Orioles relievers shutting down Toronto’s big bats.  What was the end result?  It doesn’t matter how many runs you score, when the pen can’t hold the lead.   Their bullpen is leaky.  Not one pitcher on the back end can get consistent outs.  Many of the best teams now want to be able to shorten the game.  One of the biggest reasons that the Royals made it as far as they did last year is because they were able to play a 6 inning game.  As soon as you hit the 7th teams know that they’re going to have to face Herrera, Davis, and Holland.   Game over!

What this causes is batters to really put pressure on themselves to put up some runs to prevent the bullpen from coming into the game.  Your mentality completely shifts.  You don’t have the first time through the order against the starter to feel him out.  You need to jump on him early and often.  What does this cause?  Lack of patience and overly-aggressive swings.  Why do you think Jeremy Guthrie, Joe Blanton ,and Chris Young can start for this team?  Starting pitchers for playoff teams are asked to do less and less.  Just give them a solid 5 or 6 innings, and they can turn it over to the bullpen.  Even the way that the relievers are constructed is important.  If you look at the Orioles they have a bunch of parts thrown together to make their bullpen.  Smart managing and scouting have been their key.  Tommy Hunter, Darren O’Day, and Zach Britton are not household names.  But they have their purpose.  O’Day’s unorthodox delivery can lead directly into Britton’s sinker.  Changing eye levels and leaving the hitter adjusting constantly at the plate.  Even Chaz Roe has been a pleasant surprise.  His slider gives the players something else to think about.  The pen is nearly as important as the starters in today’s MLB.

The mentality of the bullpen is almost as important as the talent.  It is an organism.  You will see all pitchers do well or all pitchers struggle.  Pitchers feel comfortable in certain roles, but completely uncomfortable in others.  The most talented guy doesn’t necessarily need to be the closer.  It’s the player that has that closer mentality that is key.  Confidence and an intimidating presence are nearly as important as stuff.  Trevor Hoffman threw change-up after change-up, and he was the best in the business for a decade.  You do need an out-pitch as a closer though.  Something that the player can’t foul off constantly until he gets something to hit.   An arsenal that includes a weapon that has a 95 mark in a video game rating.

There are multiple closers on the market this year in baseball.  Chapman, Rodriguez, Papelbon, and Clippard are all available for the right price.  You now see many teams load up on closers for the post season.  Throwing them in the 7th and 8th innings.  Trying to emulate what the Royals did last year.  Sometimes they will be planted into the organism and be rejected.  You need the perfect fit for the rare species.  These are players that spend the majority of the game sitting together, doing very little for nearly the entire game.  They might only be called upon for one batter. You might need a side-armer that throws 86mph, with a devastating slider.  Or you might need a herky-jerky left handed specialist with a loopy curve-ball.  It’s not an exact science.  Not every team can afford 3 would-be closers like the Royals have.  Sometimes you just have to plug pitchers in to see what works.  The one thing that I can guarantee is that the two teams that will be in the World Series will not have question marks in their bullpen.

Will Ferrell and his attempt at a fatality in Mortal Kombat

The Blue Jays have had quite the run recently. Does it remind anybody of a couple of years ago? This is the same pitching staff that they had at the start of the season when we were calling for heads to roll. Minus Aaron Sanchez. The team will come back down to earth. They can still compete, but don’t expect them to run away with the division. We will see what type of team that they have when they hit a rough patch.

A man with colitis wins $25.00 worth of toilet paper. This isn’t a joke, this happened to me.

The look of a teenager having to cut the grass of a huge yard in the afternoon of a beautiful spring day is the same look after Liam Neeson found out his daughter was Taken.

There are many local legends in downtown Kitchener. You already know about the guy with the shopping cart. Another fellow that is usually in the same area has a bucket and a drum stick. He usually has one pant leg pulled up. He plays this bucket with the same intensity of Neil Peart. He doesn’t even have anything to throw change in. Playing the bucket is his part-time job. He usually plays for a couple of hours at a time. This has been another segment of local legends.

Honeymoon – 8.1/10
Coherence – 8.7/10

Couple of beauties here. Both have the same intense build up without the gore or boogeyman tactic. If you can understand Coherence without having to look up some of the details online; you will receive a round of applause from me.

The PC ads that are currently out are even more dumbed down than usual. Ripping on Justin Trudeau about his hair and wanting to send jackets to Syria. Pretty soon it’s going to be that he orders daiquiris and dislikes Rush.

There is something out called the Sustainable Market. It allows you to order fruits, vegetables, maple syrup, flowers, herbs, and all things garden related online. You can then pick up your order from a place in Waterloo or Guelph. With people not really having time to shop properly, this is a great way to get your core ingredients. Wonderful idea.

http://sustainablemarket.ca/

Game of Thrones is done for another season. And with that, you can start to enjoy your summer. Something about that show makes me want to drink a giant stout, grow a beard, and learn how to sword fight.

At least 3 other people could have fit on that dragon.

Chicago Blackhawks won another cup. It’s really hard to dislike this team. They have the best leader in hockey, and are an extremely humble team. If I hear that Chelseadagger song one more time though…

In all my years of existence I have never thrown a dish with food on it before. It seems like this is a regular occurrence on TV. It seems fairly stupid to me. If you throw it at another person, it seems unlikely that they will clean up the mess. If you are just angry about something else, then you will have to clean up the mess. It seems as though any way that you slice it that you are have work to do.

I really enjoy driving slowly. Not to the point that you are angering the person that is behind you, but just a good pace where I am not stressing anybody out. I always envision people that weave in and out of lanes as people that sit in cubicles and throw footballs to each other in the office while taking other people’s money.

Sufjan Stevens new album is terrific. It might be his best. Illinoise is tough to beat, but have a listen to Carrie and Lowell, it might be Neo from the Matrix. 9.3/10

Mortal Kombat taught us that fatal ways to die are better than just dying regularly.

Everybody always had that cousin that loved to climb everything. They would go to the top of a tree and everybody would be cheering them on. “Yes, that small branch there. The one that looks like a twig. That should be able to support 94 pounds. Give it a shot.” Then you would hear the crunch of the branch, while they attempted to plant the first foot. “Oh maybe not, maybe you should come down.” They would try it again with a more tender foot, and hear a softer crunch. “Maybe go for it now. It seems to be stabilizing?”

Here’s hoping that Will Ferrell doesn’t become the new Adam Sandler. Sweat pants, fart noises, and Rob Schneider playing every ethnic origin. His last few movies have been awfully suspect. Is he getting into that dangerous old man comedian area where you have lost the crowd? You just keep going back to the dried up well. The next project due out is about a washed up ball player that becomes a mascot to try to get back in the good graces of the ball team that cut him.

Intentionally injuring yourself so you don’t have to go to a hockey game; to continue drinking at a buddy’s place seemed to be a logical choice made by an acquaintance at the time.