Liquid metal did it all for the Nookie

Volkswagon! Why? “Also the airbags don’t work. Didn’t think anyone would notice that either.”

Kurt Vile has made a wonderful new record – b’lieve I am goin down. Guitar work is immaculate, and the tone of the whole album in general is just a thing of beauty. 8.9/10

I like being experimental with food. Except for with chips. You are the worst if you are hosting an event and everybody is enjoying the evening and you go to grab snacks and this is said right after. “I haven’t tried these before, but they look great. Avocado barbeque chips anyone?” I know some of you think that sounds good. Well, it kind of does, but please have dill pickle on file just in case.

Me, Earl, and the Dying Girl – 8.4/10

Perfectly shot and fantastically written. Tough story line, but really well done. I recommend this to everyone, including you Dhooma. If it has more than 3 paragraphs of dialogue and no robots Dhooma is out.

Fantasy Football is a roller coaster of emotion. You believe your team is solid. Davante Adams is going to break out this year. 2 weeks later. “Davante Adams is sh**!”

In recent studies it has shown that Toronto is the worst city in North America to drive in. Great night tonight. Paid $200.00 for each Leaf ticket, was stuck in traffic for 2 hours. Paid $40.00 for parking, and the Leafs lost 5-0. And we are just now figuring out that this isn’t a fantastic evening for the whole family.

At one point in my life I was playing the Sims and made the Sims all my current friend’s names. I would walk around town and talk to them and see what they were up to. It was entertaining to see what they were doing, and see how closely they resembled my actual friends. I then realized that I could actually really do this if I wanted to, and stopped playing the game.

There was always that one kid at the pool that attempted to do crazy stunts off of the diving board. You knew one of these times he was going to really hurt someone or himself, but somehow it never happened. Wonder what he is doing now?

Everyone always feels uncomfortable around police officers. Even if we aren’t doing anything wrong. We just assume that they are like the Terminator from T2. They are going to look right at us, understand that there was a point that we did glance at our phone while driving; morph from liquid metal into a motorcycle and come after us.

There should be support groups for bad music that we have purchased when we were younger. Sit around in a circle and talk about it. “How did you feel the first time that you heard Nookie? Did you feel like you did it all for that?”

Halloween is coming up. I do enjoy dressing up. I always get put into costumes that are extremely uncomfortable, and have to grow a moustache for. Actually I think this is my own doing. I just look so damn attractive with that beautiful area of hair above my upper lip.

There are three times in my life that I have agreed to things that I wouldn’t have normally agreed to; because I didn’t hear what they said and was just trying to be polite.

You would think that I would follow this up with my top 3, but the Jays game is starting.  D Smith out!

Limp Bizkit spotted at Wildcraft eating balls of all-dressed Chip seasoning

The Indians bullpen crew decided to hold Brandon Moss’ 100th career homerun ball ransom. They decided that they all wanted Apple products. They made a list, and the CEO of Apple came through and provided them with their demands. I am not sure if it was supposed to be a joke, but if not, it’s a pretty dickish thing to do.

Degrassi has been saved by Netflix. Once again the streaming service sees talent, and is going to reap the rewards from it. See Trailer Park Boys and Arrested Development for details.

Practically every single network TV show has limitations. It almost seems like they are writing like they don’t want to offend anyone. Only going so far. Every piece of dialogue that I hear on most shows has never been an actual conversation that two people have had. But just add a comic book character or two and you are good to go.

Preggoland – 5.6/10
Slow West – 7.1/10

Slow West stars Michael Fassbender as a jaded man from the old west that takes on a friendship to this kid trying to find the love of his life. She is being hunted by multiple people for a ransom.

When the Bruce Trail was just starting out they didn’t have a way to cross a major highway in the Hamilton area. So, to complete the section they would have to run across a 6 lane highway to get to the other side of the trail. Just envisioning a group of people in ‘70s tall socks and short shorts running across the 427 is amusing to me.

No-hitter thrown on the night that I put a picture of my no-hitter ball on Instagram a coincidence? I think not. The spirit of Legionnaires baseball, and the power of the mullet found its way to Chris Heston of the San Francisco Giants. You are welcome my friend.

In my hometown we had a gentleman that would heckle players from all age groups from the beer gardens that were down the first base line. He would shout things about their lack of skill and their mothers constantly. Didn’t matter the age, 13 and up were fair game. Players from the other team would launch throws into the beer gardens during warm ups. The heckler would get on their nerves. This was the legendary Legionnaires 10th man.

Did you know that there is a group of men within the gaming industry that hate women gamers, and women that create video games? They actually go as far to threaten their lives. It is coined with the hashtag “Gamergate.” Who are these men? Where do we find them? Is this a secret society? And you think sports has a problem with sexism?

There is a new reality show that is in the works that will have the likes of William Shatner, George Foreman, and other veteran celebrities going to Asia to travel around to find the meaning of life. As long as there is $5.00 in it; William Shatner is on board.

Innocente is a brewery that has opened up in Waterloo. They have multiple beers on tap, and allow you to try every single one of them if you like. Very good guys, and very good beer. Go check them out. They will also fill up any growler. Regardless of the brewery. Just not 2L pop bottles. Yes, we did ask.

There are points in my life that I have missed Alpha-getti. I actually go down that aisle just to see what shapes that they come in. Oh, those spooky Halloween shapes always were the best. Also, my alphabet soup never spelled anything like they do in the cartoons. There are some adults that have eaten this at my work. I instantly think that they really need their pay-cheque to come in.

Top 3 spots where you can say “oh man, couldn’t you hold it in jokingly?”

3 – Going on 85 North practically anytime during the spring
2 – Traveling through the city, and getting that faint whiff of the skunk
1 – When somebody shits their pants regardless of the place

There are some bands that I listen to now that I used to really be into, and think “what was I thinking?” Limp Bizkit is one of them. Have you listened to the lyrics of Nookie? I like to pretend that I did it all for the Nookie, but really I was just a sensitive boy that always craved long-term relationships. I was a fraud.

Did Rocky not have time to cook the eggs? Eating raw eggs at 6am is a terrible idea.

I enjoy Dad’s root-beer. It is not available all that often. When it is, and actual beer is available; I will need a few more minutes to decide what I want.

My Mother took me to Wildcraft yesterday. It was a very pleasant lunch. We are both currently retired. Our server was extremely nice. She did dump all of the silverware onto my crouch while trying to clear away all of the plates. The awkwardness of the waitress, the greeter, and my hands picking up silverware from my crouch didn’t go unnoticed.

Sara and I really want one of those bikes that have the basket on the front. The extremely comfortable one. The one where you are sitting completely upright, and looking like you are going to the market to get French baguettes.

I have eaten a ball of all-dressed seasoning before out of a bag of chips on a dare. I don’t regret it.