Watching Gritty get Inducted into the Level of Excellence

Sitting in Smile Tiger having a muffin and a tea while writing this.  This is not a common occurrence.  This is mainly because I don’t want Sara to come home to a bachelor pad.  I’ve hired a cleaning lady to take care of things.  Some would call that laziness; others would call that smartly outsourcing.

Gritty (the new Flyers mascot) is absolutely my favourite thing right now.  There was an ad that had Jimmy Fallon and Ricky Gervais dancing in a room and Gritty wanders by and decides to get involved in the dance party.  Ricky and Gritty start shoving each other which ends up turning into a fight with Fallon trying to break it up.  Amazing!

Read an article about John Gibbons getting a spot in the level of excellence.  One division title, two playoff appearances, and .501 winning percentage over 11 or 12 years.  Only in Toronto would this be considered “excellence”.  Remember joke blog.  Please for the love of all things that are actually excellent don’t go down the rabbit hole of “I love Gibby” comments.  Stop typing, don’t do it, don’t hit enter… Damn it!

I’ve booked a trip to Arizona with a buddy of mine.  It’s always enjoyable to spend 4-5 days pretending like you are a retired old white man.  The streets are wide (not sure how anybody could possibly get into an accident), everybody is moving at a slow to even slower pace, conversations are only about sports or the weather.  I find this enjoyable for a very small amount of time.

I tried out for a football team when I was in Grade 9.  The thought was that I was very accurate throwing a baseball – football should translate well.  My first practice I took a fairly decent hit.  That was the end of the football dream.

There are at least 6-7 dogs that I know personally that I’m fairly certain I could beat in a 100 metre race.  I’m not talking tiny dogs – full size dogs.  Dogs don’t have the same motivation for success as humans.  I even know a few dogs that would fake an injury.  “oh, my poor paw, I stepped on a rock.” Quoting dogs is weird.

Went to the Rock Spa recently.  They have this steam shower thing that’s somewhat cool.  You sit on this stool and steam begins to rise from the floor.  It does feel kind of like you’re in a gas chamber, but once you get over that sensation it’s kind of neat.  They have a radio in there as well.  I assumed that the music would be pre-set to something soothing.  Nope, Bruno Mars was being ripped while steam filled my insides.  I did quickly think to myself “Well, this is how I go out”.

When I pass away I would like the line of funeral cars to go onto the 401 all the way to Toronto during rush hour.  This would entertain me from a distance.

You would think being a 40-year-old man that I could take care of myself properly.  Went camping recently with the family and I forgot my belt, toothbrush, and almost my pillow (twice).  Standing up to go to the bathroom I had to hold my pants up.  Brushed my teeth with my finger.  There is no way another human could be trusted in my care.

How many people in Canada and the US have been named Art or Chet in the past 10 years?  I’m going to go with under 90 people in total.  Chet always seemed to be the name of a dude that had one too many Bud Light’s and was going to pick a fight with a nerd (his words not mine). “Hey, why don’t you grab a book and read it.”  That was always Chet’s top insult.  Really got Art and Morris going.

 

Looking back on the summer I feel that it was one of the best weather wise in the past decade.  I give Mother Nature 9.2/10 for this past summer.  You are up in Radiohead album rating territory Mother Nature.  You should be very proud of yourself.

Advertisements

Transforming the Simpsons into what plants crave

Walking into a couple of breweries that are legendary in my eyes. Side Launch and Collingwood brewery. Side Launch offers one of the best wheat beers that I have tasted. Collingwood has a classic pale ale called downhill pale ale. Unfortunately, I just came across as a fan boy while at these breweries. “Oh, I just love your summertime wheat beer.” Is that the best you can do Daryl?

Sara and I stayed at a cabin in the nearby Glen Huron. It was minutes away from the Bruce Trail. There was a lot of love put into this log cabin. Hardwood flooring with more amenities then we have at home. Everything other than olive oil. I cannot live without this ingredient apparently.

Do More With Less (PCT Documentary) – 8.8/10

This is a visually stunning documentary about the people that hiked on the PCT this past year. It also has some music from Caribou which helps its rating.

Kung Fury is a half hour movie that is available on YouTube. It was brought to my attention by a fellow movie lover. I think this is the movie that happens in your brain if you don’t sleep for 137 straight hours. It’s a chaotic plaster of everything ‘80s mashed up into a ball of mayhem.

When is the last time that you purchased a puzzle? Well I can now say that it was this past Sunday. We thought to ourselves. “Well, we are pretty smart, we will get the 1000 piece puzzle.” After opening it up in the car to seeing the size of the pieces we knew right then and there that we made a huge mistake. Being intimidated by a puzzle doesn’t happen often, but it happened this past Sunday. We didn’t even manage to start it.

“Young lad” is something that I am not called very often anymore. That is until I go out golfing at Brookfield Golf and Country Club at 8am on a Wednesday morning.

I do enjoy going downtown for a walk. It’s nice to end up at the local Coffee Culture to have a latte or coffee. I find that reading a book in their comfortable chairs is superb. The only thing that would make it any better is if the drink came in a cup that was manageable with one hand. You are playing with fire every time that this giant cup comes up to your mouth over the Kitchener Library book. Maybe the mug that they use could weigh less than 10 lbs.

What is it about something that says Danger! High Voltage! That makes me want to do two things. Sing the Electric Six song, and climb in there to see what they are talking about. Best case scenario I am a super-hero. Worst case, I am dead. After weighing the options. I decide against it, and continue to walk.

Are you a Facebook user? Do you have a picture of a car as your profile picture? If so, change it.

Do you think that somebody has ever left a winery in Niagara on the Lake, and squealed their tires on the way out of the parking lot? I bet you the over/under is 10.5 times happening in the past year.

As the old adage goes. Is it better to burn out or fade away? In the Simpsons case. It’s fade away. Then re-burn the ashes. Then replant the burnt twice ashes and water them with Brawndo the Thirst Mutilator. It’s what plants crave.

Somebody handed in an Apple One computer to a local recycling place recently. Apparently it’s worth 200k. Now everybody that has that parent that threw out their old hockey cards, video game systems, or comic books has a bad taste in their mouth right now.

Sonic the Hedgehog was fascinating. I was astonished by how quick the screen would move. It was always intense when you or your buddy was going that quickly. You knew that eventually you would hit something and all the rings would fly in slow-mo into the air. But until then… You were the best video gamer of all-time.

Having a dog is cool. Picking up poop is not. This is why visiting dogs is so much more enjoyable.

Sara and I actually came home with more beer than we left with. And 18 year old Daryl said it could never be done.