Extinct Animals Uncomfortable at Big Music Fest

Yesterday featured Soundgarden, Jane’s Addiction, Monster Truck, and Extreme at Big Music Fest. I am fairly certain that there was a memo sent out to play as heavy as possible. It seems as though with the cancellation of Rod Stewart that Kitchener is about to overtake the city known as the Hammer for their love of heavy music.

Palm Bay had a small tent on the premises. Sara and I were nearby a lady that I was unsure about. She was all over the map. Singing along to Extreme, and “wooooing,” at very odd times. Then in an instant her top was pulled down. And boobs were out. This was an unexpected turn of events. I forgot to mention that this was 5:30 in the afternoon.

The worst shirt of the day goes to the guy that we saw in the washroom line. “Hit her in the shitter;” it had a stick figure woman throwing up, with a man directly behind her. He was a steroid junky that looked like he could have been cast in Jersey Shore. This is not only the worst shirt of the day. It could be the worst of all-time.

Nobody is more apologetic then when they step on their own cat’s tail. It’s not because we are that sorry, we just know the cat is going to be a dick after this.

Jose Gonzalez was the main act for the Winnipeg Folk Festival. Here’s the updated score of Winnipeg versus the rest of Canada. Winnipeg 2 – Canada 198.

We took the bus yesterday. I am always unsure of the bus. I always relate it back to Jim Jefferies comedy sketch. “I don’t need to take the bus. I have a car. I am choosing to take the bus. Because I am a responsible person.”

I am starting to get a bit of a beer gut. My running routine has gotten off track. Mainly, because I am now used to air-conditioning and I would rather run in a gym, and I have not joined one as of yet.

Remember when it was cool to disrespect the cops? Why was this ever cool? This is the one group of people that can make your life tough. You don’t go to a border agent, trying to get across the border and start talking smack.

The McDonalds on Ottawa St last night did an excellent job of feeding many drunk rockers. They pulled together nicely as a unit, and I commend them for this.

As you grow older as a man; your eyebrows begin to get out of whack. Working in a retail position for many years I have realized that roughly two percent of old men don’t give a fu**.

There is a type of cheese called mild. What does this even mean? Do you not want it to taste like anything? “Shaped like cheese, but tastes like nothing please.”

Back in the middle ages did men really get catapulted over walls? There is no was that I would be comfortable with this. There is absolutely nothing that you can do if you get shot directly into the wall.

Young children grabbing the garbage’s and old men handing out water bottles. Felt like Walmart at the music festival yesterday.

It was surprising that there was no medical issues or fights that I witnessed yesterday. Middle-aged rockers in Kitchener can handle their drugs and alcohol. There were many proud people when Cornell stated that the stage was in a big haze of pot smoke, and that it was likely that they might forget some of the songs. This is when proud Kitchener folk do their “woooooing.” “We are getting him fu**ed up. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.”

Big Game – 9.0/10

Big Game was excellent. It’s a cute movie about an attempted assassination on the President of the United States, played by Samuel L. Jackson; and a Finnish boy that is attempting to make his Father proud by hunting for big game on his own. You will have to watch it to see how it formulates together.

What is the deal with these shirts that you can wear that show off pictures on your back when you get sunburnt? The images I mainly see is of dragons. This sounds about right.

Ask Siri what 0 divided by 0 is. You will not be disappointed.

Top 3 things overheard at a concert, but nowhere else.

1. Do you think anybody will notice if I just go piss in the corner of the beer gardens?
2. The best value is the cider. It’s $10.00, but it’s in a tall can.
3. These wood chips aren’t too bad to sit on. At least they soak in the smell of the garbage.

There was a nearly extinct animal at the concert yesterday. The animal that owns the haircut of shaved on one side, with a comb over to the other side. We tried not to spook him to send him running in his deck shoes.

Live Music in Kitchener

People seem to be in shock that Rod Stewart and Blondie didn’t have better overall ticket sales at Big Music Fest this year (I am not one of them.) They had to cancel the Sunday night of the festival. The organizer said that he had never seen anything like it before. That it just didn’t take. They advertised the performers at an insane level. If you listened to Dave FM or 570 news there were advertisements for the event every couple of commercial breaks. I am kind of dumbfounded why people thought those two in particular would work.
What do you think of when you think of a festival? You think of an intense crowd that is extremely into the music. They have passion for the music, and the band that is performing. What do you think of when you hear the name Rod Stewart? I think of the 70’s playboy that broke the hearts of multiple middle aged women. Or the crooner that softened up in his older age. I think of a casino crowd. As soon as I heard that Rod Stewart and Blondie were the headliners of Sunday night, I knew it would bomb.

I know the pulse of KW. What we are into, and what is going to sell out 10,000 people. Soundgarden and Jane’s Addiction have this ability. Rod Stewart does not. People that go to festivals have a certain vibe about them. And that vibe in Kitchener in particular, is rock music. The thing that is the most frustrating is that with the money that they spent on Stewart and Blondie; that they could have had a fantastic performance by a band that might not be back on tour when the time is right. Rush, Tom Petty, Foo Fighters, and AC/DC all would have been perfect headliners that would have been right near the same dollar mark of Blondie and Rod Stewart put together. Rush might be dreaming a bit, but it couldn’t have been that far off.

This reminds me of the people that used to run Centre in the Square. Bringing in acts that only made a small percentage of people happy. I have to admit that they have been much better over the past couple of years, but they were awful for the decade before that. As a rock fan in this city, you really have nothing to look forward to. You have to drive to Toronto or London to see a band that could have easily been supported in KW. The city just doesn’t have the right people pushing the buttons. Bringing in the type of acts that will have a chance to succeed. Kitchener is desperately trying to get the downtown back up and running. There are not enough places that have bands that aren’t just local acts. Starlight lounge does its best in Waterloo. They have indie rock. But with the small venue, they can only support certain bands. Maxwell’s have brought in a couple of decent bands recently in the Tea Party and the Headstones, but we are still missing that in between place. A place where you can draw in a couple of thousand people every so often. This is why Big Music Fest is so important. We need to show that we can support live music in this area.

The mistake of booking those acts is such a black eye on the city. It’s not our fault that you brought in the wrong artists. We are already paying huge dollars for a festival that in other cities would be half of the price. But we are willing to pay it, if it means that you can bring particular artists to the city, and we don’t have to drive into the parking lot called Toronto. After hearing the runner of Big Music Fest speak, it sounds like he has gotten it through his head that this city is a rock and roll city. We will not support acts just because they are big names. Kitchener really needs to rattle the windows for Soundgarden and Jane’s Addiction to show our appreciation for great music. And to also show the people that are bringing in the talent that this is the type of music that we want. At the end of the day I just want to enjoy the sunshine, and watch a performance from a band that I thought I would never get to see in my own backyard.