Train Rides after Witnessing a Unicorn wearing a Big Johnson Shirt.

I turned 37 yesterday. I still haven’t really figured anything out. I guess you just keep on doing things that you love to do, and hang out with the people that you enjoy hanging out with. Is it that simple?
Saturday was my birthday pub crawl in Downtown Kitchener. Had a grand old time with friends and family. My actual birthday was a day of re-hydration and Swiss Chalet.

The Jays have made massive moves to improve the team. I wasn’t completely sold on the Tulowitzki trade. That is until they pulled off the David Price trade. Dickey and Buerhle have been pitching lights out recently as well. I am not sure if they can catch the Yanks, but they should be in the one game playoff.

Super Meat Boy is a game. It’s a very popular game. You compete levels and blood puddles on the screen in areas that you are dragging your meat boy body around. This is the type of thing that needs to be created if you would like to become rich.

The local theatre is showing a Counter-strike tournament on the big screen. You don’t play. You watch people playing a video game. Are people going to illegally record this on a camera and put it on YouTube? I don’t know what’s cool anymore?

Top 3 most nervous times in the childhood of Daryl Smith.

1. Facing Mike Tyson in the final match in Punchout. My face was 2 feet from the TV screen, and my hands would shake with the fear of getting “knocked the fu** out.”
2. Having to go to the front of the class in Grade 2 and do a book report on James and the Giant Peach without actually reading the book.
3. Being extremely close to having to wear head gear at school. Who invented this? Did it have to be so gigantic?

After going to the dentist recently, I was told that I generated an awful lot of saliva. I was confused whether this was good or bad; so I just said thank-you.

Train Wreck – 8.9/10
The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel – 5.7/10

Train Wreck is excellent. Amy Schumur is fantastic, and extremely refreshing in this role. Just watching somebody putting together an actual realistic comedy with a few spurts of romance is a thing of beauty when done properly. Bill Hader is solid, and Lebron is actually very good as well. Great movie.

Stepping on Lego does suck. Why does it always have to happen at 6:25 am? I no longer have to worry about these things, but a simple reminder to have your children put their Lego away.

Zero interest in hot air balloons. A man with colitis and a fear of heights does not do well in these situations.

You need to have a certain look to be a local mechanic. Grizzled, straight talking, and in between the heights of 5’5” and 5’8”. Being able to smoke a pack a day is a bonus point.

I actually witnessed somebody wearing a Big Johnson shirt. It was a mint condition shirt, tucked into jean shorts. It was like watching a beautiful stallion within a herd of Holstein cattle.

big-jhonson

Tame Impala has a new album out. It is absolutely beautiful. It’s a danceable psychedelic medley. 9.4/10.

There are still people that are using the push/pull lawn mower. It feels like there should be more people using this. Especially with houses being built with exactly 7 square feet of lawn.

They are producing Chuck Taylor’s with better insoles. They are about 25% more expensive. One of the experiences about wearing Chuck Taylor’s is the feeling of just strapping cardboard to your foot.

Recently in the UK a man drugged his girlfriend so that he could continue to play video games. George and Jerry, action figures, anybody, Bueller, Bueller.

ceila

I am amazed by people with artistic skills. The humans that I draw always either have arms coming out of their neck or have weird rubber, circular arms.

It is very hipster, but I would like my next birthday to be a train ride to Stratford to visit the brewery, and to see a play. I know, better be careful, what an animal.

Green Lantern’s oath after having a massage from Little Mac’s trainer

It’s Sara’s birthday today.  She has flown off to Brazil while I am awaiting to go to the dentist.  Seems a bit unfair.

Our plants are still alive in the household.  Plants are good because they don’t whine like animals do when they don’t have food.  It’s only been 3 days without food.  What do you want, to be fed daily?

After dropping Sara off at the airport I went to Nickelbrook Brewery.  The traffic on the way there almost made it not worthwhile.  What a fantastic brewery.  They will fill up any other breweries growler.  This is uncommon, most breweries will only fill up their own.  9.8/10 (they were out of two of my favourite beers.  No perfect score.)

Welcome to me – 6.7/10

Kristin Wiig stars as a woman with some mental issues that goes off of her meds.  She ends up winning the lottery and purchases time from a TV station to run her own talk show.  Wiig is the perfect casting for this role, but the movie lacks substance.  It really under-utilizes the other talent in the movie.

One of the best jokes that I heard from a comedian recently.  He was talking about Home Depot and their slogan of “you can do it, and we can help.”  No I can’t do it, and you can’t help; because you are a retired math teacher.

I have lived for 36 years and I have never run through laundry that is on clothes lines outside chasing another person with a flower while the sun beats down on me.  Movies always thinks this happens.

Nerds the candy should be illegal.  Have you ever listened to what somebody sounds like while chewing them?  I have to turn away.

Watched an extremely interesting documentary on Voluntourism recently.  One of the most interesting stories was a girl talking about how she went with no knowledge on how to build a house.  They would start laying bricks down, and complete the day’s work.  One day she woke up early in the morning and witnessed workers tearing down the work that they did and redoing it in the night time.  People always want to believe that they are doing things that help, but do research before you pay a pile of money to a company that may only give a small amount to the community.

We always bash the younger generation for staying indoors and using technology all-day.  I believe that if any generation had the same technology at their disposal they would do the exact same thing.  Do you know how many hours I played Mike Tyson’s Punchout?

Why did they dress the trainer in a pink sweatshirt while training?  That seems like such a weird move for the era that game came out.

I am happy that I am over 6’0″ tall and don’t have to overcompensate by working out and bulking up.

If you are going to be a drifter in a major city you should never wear a poncho on a sunny day.  You always look shady and unstable.  My mind always goes to back to the original Rambo when I think of drifters.  That’s not so bad.

As a young lad I believed that people put an eavestrough on the house so they could steal tennis balls.  It was a good business plan I decided, but it was kind of a dick move.

Poopy is the absolute worst nickname for anybody.  There really can’t be any good reason to have that nickname.

How many times do you think you have purchased golf balls from the side of the road and the bag that you purchased had one of your golf balls in it that you shot out of bounds?

Top 3 worst things about MC’ing a public event.

  1. When MC’ing a sci-fi convention and you have to repeat the Green Lantern oath’s in multiple made up languages.
  2. Having somebody yell louder after you get your first word out.
  3. Being in charge of cutting off the drunk sailor mouthed Aunt or Uncle.

One of the many reasons that I own a car is that I am not thought of when people think of somebody to help them move.  It also helps that I drink expensive beer, and am extremely weak.

In all zombie movies and shows it’s always the worst when they are waiting for the person to turn.  Why do they always have to sit so close to them?

Everybody has that one power bar where you are not sure if you have too many things plugged into it.

We have gotten rid of most of our small kitchen tools.  I only miss one of them.  It’s the garlic press.  Cutting stupid garlic makes your hand stink for 3 days.  It’s like the bog of eternal stench.

Is there anybody that wears a cod piece with an everyday outfit?

Every time you get your oil changed at your local place they will show you the stupid air filter.  You feel like a bad parent if you tell them to put that greasy air filter back in there.  It’s like telling your child to put his dirty underwear back on.

In the Philippines they eat eggs of partially formed chickens.  On that note.  I am out.