Harold Reynolds and his mission to ruin Thanksgiving in Canada

Happy Thanksgiving – sometimes I wish I had one of those families that had that uncle that was going through a divorce, had a little too much to drink, and starts spilling all the beans on the family business.  Unfortunately, my family is pretty normal.

Top 3 creepy things you can do while at the Thanksgiving parade

  1.  Eat an ice cream cone by yourself, but eat it at a much slower pace than usual, and look around at the crowd while doing it.
  2. Cheer out of control for things.  Whether it be candy or just a float with advertising on it.  Uncontrollable cheering will always be appreciated.
  3. Take off your shirt and wrap it around your waist while sporting a decent pair of ’80s villain shades.  Then continue to weave in and out of the crowd, gently bumping into people.

When you wake up in the middle of the night and have a hard time falling back asleep some of things that you think about are weird.  I was debating getting up and putting some potato chips in the freezer.  I remember them tasting much better after doing that.

Thanksgiving Tacos – is this a thing for anyone?  I understand that Turkey is the thing, but since most of us go to multiple Thanksgivings; we could maybe throw this into the mix.  Ground turkey, cilantro, onion, spinach, salsa, and sour cream.

The aging process will always hit you the same way when you are in your mid-30s.  You will begin to walk outside in the fall and just marvel at the beauty of the trees.  Any other time of your life, you either complain about Winter coming or that you have to clean up the leaves on the yard.

The Martian – 9.0/10

This is an extremely realistic look at a man being abandoned on Mars and having to try to survive.  It’s so realistic that many people took to the Twitter world and asked if this was based on a true story.  74% of these people are also voting PC this election.

I have faith in the Toronto Blue Jays and the Green Bay Packers.  I cannot say the same for the Philadelphia Flyers.  They stink!  They might struggle in a game against the Listowel Jr. “B” Cyclones.

Work sent me to Orlando recently.  Unlike Vegas, it is nearly impossible to get into trouble near Disney.  “Oh sir, the nightlife is everywhere here.  There is a great wings restaurant that is open till 10pm.  They have margarita’s and hot wings.  That is if you are really living on the edge.”

Everybody is upset with Harold Reynolds.  He stated during the Jays game last night the following.  “There’s not a lot of people playing baseball in Canada.  They’re not used to catching a lot of balls in the stands.”  Hopefully this goes to 5 games so we can say not very nice things to him and pelt him with Timbits.  Then apologize after.

The nectar of the Gods is available at Innocente Brewery.  It’s called their Charcoal Porter.

If you wear tighter shirts your muscles do look larger.  But you have to be careful.  Your beer gut also appears to be larger as well.  Maybe I will get a shirt that is tight up top, but loose on the bottom.  Wait, that’s a dress.

The board game Pandemic should state in the rules that if you have had 6 beers or more that your brain would be better suited to play Ticket to Ride.  After 12, it’s Snakes and Ladders.

If I ever received a phone call and somebody was using the voice box on the other line.  I would just hang up.  I can guarantee that whatever you say is not a good deal for me.

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Moustaches and the Price to Pay for the Morphine Addiction that Follows

Going to Blue Jays game number 7 today. Dickey is once again on the mound. I always try to buy tickets to slow paced knuckleballers so I can consume the most beer possible throughout the day.

Movati gym is gorgeous. Going at 5am is a very unique experience. You sit in a hot tub with 70 year old men and discuss politics. Stanley made a great joke about Stephen Harper’s lack of personality, we chuckled – it was a good day.

The Tea Party came to town to play The Edges of Twilight from start to finish. It was a great show. He still looks like Jim Morrison. For some reason they didn’t offer the vinyl copy of the album. Who buys CD’s? I prefer something that requires a lot of work to listen to please. Makes you work for the experience. I like to hand-wash my clothes as well.

Kurt Vile has a new record coming out at the end of this month. If you have listened to me ooze about his last album you will know that I am just downright giddy for the follow up.

Walk in the Woods – 3.4/10
Get Hard – 4.6/10
Straight Outta of Compton – 8.7/10

If you would like to see what a heart attack would look like if it was a person watch Nick Nolte in Walk in the Woods. Robert Redford reminds me of that friend that always says that he would be good at stand up, and in the back of your mind you think to yourself – you would be awful.

Work sent me to Vegas. I am also being sent to Orlando in October. I know it’s tough, but somebody has to go to these places.

After eating at Boston Pizza does anybody receive the bill and think to themselves “That was a great $70.00 spent?” I always feel like Zoodles and two room temperature Bud Lite’s would be about 76% as good as what I just ate here.

Never liked the teachers that wrote their name with such authority on the black board the first time that I met them. Every single student thinks you are going to be a dick if you do this.

It’s a very strange existence for the generation that grew up in the ‘90s have. We are right in between the age of hard work and the age of innovation. We think everybody that is younger is lazy, and think everybody that is older are dinosaurs and won’t accept technology. But mostly we just get offended by everything, and are sad that we got degrees in subjects that there are no jobs in.

Moustaches quickly vanished. There was a time a couple of years ago that 7% of the male population rocked a moustache. This style was traded in for a razor. They didn’t shave the moustache though. They decided to shave part of their head, and comb the rest of their hair over it. This style died out in 2018. Here we see….

I think that started as a comment on moustaches and became being walked around the museum of style by a guide?

Sara and I booked trips to Paris. There was a mistake fare of course. We haven’t decided where we are going to go when we get to Paris though. Maybe Belgium, Hungary, or Morocco? Maybe Bed, Bath, and Beyond. Just not sure if we will have time though.

We all pretend that we are really into live music when it’s a surprise at a pub. We are like “oh yeah a band.” We are into it for a couple of songs, and then realize that it’s impossible to talk over the band playing Summer of ’69. But we still pretend to enjoy ourselves yelling into the ear of the person directly beside you.

I know blogs have been scarce recently. I am trying to get back on the band wagon. My morphine addiction has taken hold and I should be able to write more now.