Squirrels shooting up Omega 3’s in Palm Springs with Leo DiCaprio

It’s difficult to access the part of my brain that is meant for humour right now. But I will not let anyone affect my life because of their senseless actions. Pause for everyone that has been involved in any type of terrorist attack.

Was sent to Palm Springs recently by work. I can sum up all you need to know about Palm Springs by letting you know that a man that was at the table beside me fell asleep sitting up at the airport while waiting for his food. The waitress gave him the quiet “sir” to wake him from his slumber. He went directly to eating his food and drinking his beer when he awoke.

Marco Estrada for 2yrs/26 million. Yup, all day.

Found out that Leo DiCaprio purchased a house in Palm Springs recently. Was hoping to gain access to his entourage. I feel that I would be a good add to his group. I don’t have any skills in particular, but I could always tell him how handsome he looked, and that he was robbed at the Oscars again.

Omega 3 pills that say that they don’t have a fishy after taste, should actually say that it only has 2 hours of fishy aftertaste.

I really enjoy eating fish, but I hate being that guy that makes the whole lunch room reek like tilapia. Even though I do like to count how many people bring up that it smells like fish in the lunch-room.

Squirrels can’t figure out what’s going on. They have all of their nuts ready to rock and roll for the winter, but the weather is still fairly decent – so they decided that they would just play chicken with my car each and every day.

When your wife says to you that you are getting onto a bus to go on a Tomb Raider amazing race type of thing you always say yes.

Is there an alternate universe where Wes Anderson is directing a Transformers movie?

James Bond: Spectre – 7.7/10
Entourage – 4.5/10
Vacation – 5.3/10

Entourage and Vacation were basically my only options on the plane. Entourage seems about as outdated as a Maxim Magazine with Meg Ryan on the cover.

Ronda Rousey lost her fight last night and the internet exploded. I don’t watch UFC whatsoever, but that kick to the face made me cringe.

You know what movie makes me angry – “Up.” You can’t have a man trying to hide his tears at the start of the movie. You have to play it cool for the rest of the hour and a half of the movie. At least in other movies, you can go to the kitchen and grab a beer, open chip bags, or walk the dog; because it’s at the end. “Up” gives you no chance. Sara sees right through that “there is something in my eye” line. Then you receive that “oh, it’s ok hug” which only makes it worse.

I was picked up at the airport on Friday. My driver had one and only one interest. Talking about traffic. I have never had an hour long conversation about traffic before. I didn’t even know it was possible. He didn’t even fall for my pretending to sleep move, the conversation about traffic must continue.

Top 3 things that I can’t see James Bond doing.

3 – Eating a Schneiders Hot-Dog.  No hot-dog cooking method seems right for 007.

2 – Having diarrhea – even the Mongolian Grill wouldn’t get through that iron stomach.

1 – Singing along at a Toby Keith concert – Red Solo Cup sung by Bond?

I can’t end the blog on this note.  I was once attacked by my cat that I had to hide behind a chair.  The cat paced out front of the chair taunting me, and then faked walking off.  When I thought the coast was clear that cat leaped out of nowhere onto my leg.  I shuffled around the room trying to get the cat off of my leg.  The worst part about this day was that I was hungover and I think the cat sensed that.  It tormented me at my weakest moment.

Precise Gymnastics with Wil Wheaton at an Electric Six concert

Whoever makes the Girl Guide Cookies made a big mistake by changing the recipe. We all taste the difference, and are disappointed with the end result. I will still buy them, but I am no longer going to buy the 6 boxes at once.

We were able to go trick or treating around the office at Halloween time. People had candy out on their desk to be able to scoop up. We made the calculated decision to go at lunch hour so that we wouldn’t have to see that “maybe you shouldn’t take that extra one; because everybody needs a chance to get one” look on their face when they weren’t there.

Electric Six are coming to town again. This is one of the best bands to see live. Energy, fantastic riffs, and the fact that only about 20 people are in the crowd are all excellent reasons to see them.

I once went as MC Hammer to a bar in my home town for Halloween. I remember very little about this evening, but I do remember that most people thought I was Aladdin. Until Can’t Touch This came on. The crowd went into a frenzy as I shuffled across the floor with extreme precision. It is still talked about to this day by the locals.

Anybody else have an uneasy feeling while walking on train tracks? And it’s only because of Stand by Me that I have these feelings. And the fact that Wil Wheaton is everywhere makes me always think of this.

Yesterday, part of the family won an experience put on by Xbox Canada. It was a real life Lara Croft: Tomb Raider experience on a farm in Uxbridge. We competed against other teams in events like Axe Throwing, Rock Climbing, and Arrow Shooting. It was a fantastic event, and an extremely tough workout. And if you guessed that I am amazing at axe throwing you would be guessing right. If you guessed that I would be great at arrow shooting. Well…

I have only ate too many marsh-mellows once. It was once too many. There are certain things that you throw-up that make it look like you should go to the hospital. Marsh-mellows are one of those items. So is clamato juice.

Keith Urban stated recently that he wished he would have wrote the song “Pretty Pimpin” by Kurt Vile. Respect level has risen to 3 out of 100 for Keith Urban.

Black Sabbath is on tour. I remember seeing them when I was in college 15-20 years ago. They were fu**ing old then.

One of the groups that were part of the Xbox event was a band. They were all dressed in leather jackets with the band’s name on the back of their jackets. Each band member had the exact same haircut of the shaved underneath, grown over look while wearing shades in the pouring rain. I saw one band member reading a book. It was called: The Douchebag guide to all things douchey.

The Gift – 7.7/10
End of the Tour – 8.2/10

The Gift is a decent thriller with a few twists and turns about a man having his past coming back to haunt him.

The End of the Tour is a Rolling Stone story that never saw the light of day. Based on an interview done with a well-known author who committed suicide.

I am off to Palm Springs, California for work tomorrow. I hope it snows here.

We all had that person that called you buy your brother’s name. Mine was my gym teacher. The unfortunate part was that my brother was a better athlete then I was. I overheard some of his comments. “Why can’t Smith dribble? When did he get so bad at floor hockey? I don’t remember him being so graceful in gymnastics.”