PC

Joe Buck and his wonderful day in upstate New York with Alcides Escobar

Posted on by Hosehead

The Jays are out. It was a heartbreaking defeat. They were beat by the better team. Unfortunately in playoff baseball you can’t live and die by the long ball. And that’s exactly what they tried to do. Situational hitting is a must at this level. Jose Bautista tried to will the team to victory with home run after home run in big spots. This team would be long gone if it wasn’t for his efforts.

Top 3 things Fox announcers are doing after the Royals put out the Jays.

1. Joe Buck is going for a nice evening with Alcides Escobar in the wine region of New York. They will reminisce on his brilliant over-reactions to seeing-eye singles while riding side by side on horseback. It will just be a superb day.
2. Harold Reynolds will go back to staring at the wall until the next game starts.
3. Fox has announced that each fan in the outfield must grow an Amish beard as a salute to a great American hero.

It’s amusing to look at all the Facebook posts after the election took place. Every PC backer talks about money, and, well, that’s it. Every NDP backer says, well at least it’s not Harper. And the rest of the world is talking about how gorgeous Justin is.

There was never really a time that I enjoyed going to gym class less then when we had to learn how to line dance. There were 2 – 1 hour sessions of my life that I will never get back. And that fact that I know how to line dance a bit is a feeling I will have to live with the rest of my life.

Pizza Pops did quite of damage to me as a child. There was nothing you could do once that pizza goo was in your mouth and it was 300 degrees Celsius. You were done. You tried to create saliva as fast as possible, but you ended up just getting burning hot pizza goo onto your chin. Thinking back now – why didn’t I use a knife and fork?

All the years of golf that I have played, and I have never bagged myself trying to hit a golf ball in between two trees.

I was a goaltender in hockey when I was growing up. That’s all, I thought I would just bring that up. Oh, and I was bagged a lot then.

Why weren’t clear braces made up until a decade ago? It was bad enough that I had to wear pieces of metal in my mouth, but did you have to make it look like my mouth was part of a Terminator movie?

When you looked in somebody’s fridge growing up there was always two jugs of things that looked like orange juice. One was Tang and one was actually orange juice. I never thought to open it up to smell it; so I always just picked the one that had the most unnatural orange colour. I think that I ran a 98% mark of getting Tang. After thinking about this now, that wasn’t all that impressive.

One of these days I would like to complain about the rain; because I just had the car washed.

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Facebook – The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Posted on by Hosehead

Social Media can have such a positive effect on things when we allow it. We find out about injustices that are occurring all around the world. Put focus on things that require it. Bill Cosby has first-hand witnessed the wrath that social media can cause. There is absolutely no question that what he had done would have finally come out, but to watch it railroad him so quickly was a thing of beauty. Social media doesn’t care how much money you have. Once facts are leaked online – you can no longer just throw money at it to go away. If it’s online, you will never be able to rid yourself of it.

You are seeing a very similar thing happen to Stephen Harper. Very few people believe that he has done a good job with this country. Even the majority of people that are voting Conservative believe that he isn’t a great choice, but is the best of the bunch. But wait, what are we seeing now? News of the Mike Duffy trial is everywhere. Harper’s knowledge of what happened seems to be evident. Social Media is gaining steam, and once again it looks as though that this will cause a major shift in who gets voted into Parliament.

This is the good of social media. What’s the bad? Well, just like the news, people seem to be drawn to disasters and stories that scream out negativity. Believing that the world is an awful place. “We have to protect the children, the children.” Nearly every single statistic has overall violence down. Whether this includes murders, abuse, or hate crimes. We have become a much more civilized society overall. Now we will always have countries that are behind the times. There is only one person in the world that you can control, and that is yourself.

Unfortunately we still believe that the world is a place that is full of hatred, and we fill it with our social media feeds. Whether its religion, sexual orientation, or ethnic diversity – our society is a much more accepting place to live. We have come a long way. I still see hyper-sensitivity everywhere though. Overreaction towards news stories. People afraid of their own shadows. It’s tiresome going through Facebook news streams. I have such a hard-time disconnecting though. Even when I travel; I get back and I think that I must have missed some major news story, and realize nothing has happened.

We fill our feeds with types of dogs that shouldn’t be banned, we must fight for the pitbulls. Ways to lose weight, somebody is upset with the way their sandwich was made at Tim Horton’s. People at McDonald’s making $15.00 an hour. Meme’s about how stupid people make them so angry. (meme’s are out control by the way) I am such a hypocrite here as well. There are times that I post up things that make me upset. I actually have a whole blog about it. One thing that I attempt to do is to even things out. Writing things that are positive or things that I find funny. Social media is draining. You know that person that you are having a beer with that is constantly complaining about something going on in their life. That is Facebook.

So why do we read it? I don’t know. There are a handful of people that I get a kick out of. They know who they are. But most times I go through the feeds, and feel nothing. I have gained nothing, and now I feel a little bit angry. The best of social media is seeing people reviewing movies or music. Or maybe notifying me of an upcoming event that I didn’t know about. Instead we get cries for attention or help to support something that really doesn’t matter. (You have seen those pictures of “share if you remember this – it’s a picture of a Nintendo?”) Wouldn’t it be great if you could customize your feed to distinguish between things that are actually useful to you versus things that are useless? Maybe this could be the next Apple invention? Something that takes a copy of your brains interests, plugs it into the USB port, and only shows you things that you find amusing or have interest in? Actually that sounds very dangerous, and very similar to a thrown away Matrix script.

Will this cause me to storm off, and threaten to pull myself away from Facebook – then crawl back weeks later? No, my addiction runs deep, and I understand that. I have given up video games just to add something nearly as useless to my repertoire. Words of advice to myself is constantly. Stop being offended by everything, and post stuff that I would want to read myself. That’s my simple rule of thumb for a Facebook-oxy-oin junkie.

An Oath to better prepare math teachers at the buffet line

Posted on by Hosehead

The multicultural festival was this past weekend in Kitchener. This is an event where you can go and enjoy food from nearly every type of ethnic origin in the area. The only thing we missed out on was the giant turkey leg. You really don’t want the meat sweats in 30 degree weather though.

Jurassic World – 8.2/10

Terrific movie. Really like that they just pretended that the last two Jurassic Park’s didn’t take place whatsoever. Chris Pratt again is solid. It’s a perfect movie for theatre going. Fun for the whole family. Dinosaurs eating humans is always entertaining.

When are the PC ads going to target the NDP? This has to be coming soon. They might have a hard time with the same ads. Tom Mulcair too handsome for politics?

Went to the horse races for the first time in about ten years on Friday. What a grand old time. Even by just having two dollars on a horse makes you yell like a lunatic at a window without the ability for anybody of importance to hear you. Except that seriously angry old-man that is here to win money. He gave me the newbie look at least three times.

As a young lad I thought I would always eat at buffets when growing up. I thought, well you have everything here. Why wouldn’t I always just get this?

Somebody needs to give Brett Cecil a hug.

Sara and I just started to get back into Helix. The show and the band. What a fantastic show this is. It has the creepy vibe turned to 10. Disease outbreak that starts on an island. Two stories run side by side thirty years apart about how the disease started, and how they are trying to stop the outbreak 30 years in the future. 8.9/10

How do psychics stay in business? I guess they don’t have any overhead costs. They don’t really need to sharpen their skills. Just a deck of cards and some candles. Can you be spiritual without table and the dark room? Or is this to show the spirits that you are serious, and you need answers?

Math teachers were extremely wrong about not always having a calculator with you at all times.

If you constantly have problems with underarm stains on your shirts there is an easy solution. You wear an undershirt. The last thing that you want is to give jerk-ass 13 year old kids firepower when you can prevent it by just wearing a t-shirt.

Throwing on Sportsnet 360 a few days ago I heard a WWE superstar Seth Rollins grab the mic in Cleveland. He is currently the champion. He had one of the best speeches that I have heard. “Johnny-idiot face over there isn’t going to bring you a championship. Neither is Lebron. This is the closest that you will be to a championship. You better enjoy it.” Johnny Manziel was in the crowd.

We are on a kick of trying to take advantage of everything for free. This caused me to go down to a known elderly person hangout to receive a hotdog and enter a ballot for a bike. One of the things that I had to do was guess what colour the quilt was that had the smallest pattern. I guessed it right off of the bat. It’s the one with the smallest shapes was my thought. They were shocked that I got it with my first guess. I was then forced to ask questions about what they were making so I didn’t look rude. At the end of this experience, I am not sure if I am any better or worse. But I did know that I wasn’t going to get those 28 minutes back.

I think I would still go to Jurassic World if they re-opened it back up in a week. I would just think to myself. They are for-sure ready for dinosaurs in cages now.

It seems to be tougher to be spiritual when you are sitting cross-legged in the snow instead of in the sun. Spirituality works a lot better when it’s a beautiful day.

People in the future are going to think that we were idiots for putting up with commercials for as long as we did. “You spent how long watching a guy from Toronto talk about jewelry while waving fistfuls of cash in your face?” Yeah, and that was one of the better ones.

When I see a grown man spinning around in circles on a lawn with his arms spread out wide, I cross the street to the other sidewalk. This is an oath that I have decided to take unknowingly.

Will Ferrell and his attempt at a fatality in Mortal Kombat

Posted on by Hosehead

The Blue Jays have had quite the run recently. Does it remind anybody of a couple of years ago? This is the same pitching staff that they had at the start of the season when we were calling for heads to roll. Minus Aaron Sanchez. The team will come back down to earth. They can still compete, but don’t expect them to run away with the division. We will see what type of team that they have when they hit a rough patch.

A man with colitis wins $25.00 worth of toilet paper. This isn’t a joke, this happened to me.

The look of a teenager having to cut the grass of a huge yard in the afternoon of a beautiful spring day is the same look after Liam Neeson found out his daughter was Taken.

There are many local legends in downtown Kitchener. You already know about the guy with the shopping cart. Another fellow that is usually in the same area has a bucket and a drum stick. He usually has one pant leg pulled up. He plays this bucket with the same intensity of Neil Peart. He doesn’t even have anything to throw change in. Playing the bucket is his part-time job. He usually plays for a couple of hours at a time. This has been another segment of local legends.

Honeymoon – 8.1/10
Coherence – 8.7/10

Couple of beauties here. Both have the same intense build up without the gore or boogeyman tactic. If you can understand Coherence without having to look up some of the details online; you will receive a round of applause from me.

The PC ads that are currently out are even more dumbed down than usual. Ripping on Justin Trudeau about his hair and wanting to send jackets to Syria. Pretty soon it’s going to be that he orders daiquiris and dislikes Rush.

There is something out called the Sustainable Market. It allows you to order fruits, vegetables, maple syrup, flowers, herbs, and all things garden related online. You can then pick up your order from a place in Waterloo or Guelph. With people not really having time to shop properly, this is a great way to get your core ingredients. Wonderful idea.

http://sustainablemarket.ca/

Game of Thrones is done for another season. And with that, you can start to enjoy your summer. Something about that show makes me want to drink a giant stout, grow a beard, and learn how to sword fight.

At least 3 other people could have fit on that dragon.

Chicago Blackhawks won another cup. It’s really hard to dislike this team. They have the best leader in hockey, and are an extremely humble team. If I hear that Chelseadagger song one more time though…

In all my years of existence I have never thrown a dish with food on it before. It seems like this is a regular occurrence on TV. It seems fairly stupid to me. If you throw it at another person, it seems unlikely that they will clean up the mess. If you are just angry about something else, then you will have to clean up the mess. It seems as though any way that you slice it that you are have work to do.

I really enjoy driving slowly. Not to the point that you are angering the person that is behind you, but just a good pace where I am not stressing anybody out. I always envision people that weave in and out of lanes as people that sit in cubicles and throw footballs to each other in the office while taking other people’s money.

Sufjan Stevens new album is terrific. It might be his best. Illinoise is tough to beat, but have a listen to Carrie and Lowell, it might be Neo from the Matrix. 9.3/10

Mortal Kombat taught us that fatal ways to die are better than just dying regularly.

Everybody always had that cousin that loved to climb everything. They would go to the top of a tree and everybody would be cheering them on. “Yes, that small branch there. The one that looks like a twig. That should be able to support 94 pounds. Give it a shot.” Then you would hear the crunch of the branch, while they attempted to plant the first foot. “Oh maybe not, maybe you should come down.” They would try it again with a more tender foot, and hear a softer crunch. “Maybe go for it now. It seems to be stabilizing?”

Here’s hoping that Will Ferrell doesn’t become the new Adam Sandler. Sweat pants, fart noises, and Rob Schneider playing every ethnic origin. His last few movies have been awfully suspect. Is he getting into that dangerous old man comedian area where you have lost the crowd? You just keep going back to the dried up well. The next project due out is about a washed up ball player that becomes a mascot to try to get back in the good graces of the ball team that cut him.

Intentionally injuring yourself so you don’t have to go to a hockey game; to continue drinking at a buddy’s place seemed to be a logical choice made by an acquaintance at the time.