Will Ferrell and his attempt at a fatality in Mortal Kombat

The Blue Jays have had quite the run recently. Does it remind anybody of a couple of years ago? This is the same pitching staff that they had at the start of the season when we were calling for heads to roll. Minus Aaron Sanchez. The team will come back down to earth. They can still compete, but don’t expect them to run away with the division. We will see what type of team that they have when they hit a rough patch.

A man with colitis wins $25.00 worth of toilet paper. This isn’t a joke, this happened to me.

The look of a teenager having to cut the grass of a huge yard in the afternoon of a beautiful spring day is the same look after Liam Neeson found out his daughter was Taken.

There are many local legends in downtown Kitchener. You already know about the guy with the shopping cart. Another fellow that is usually in the same area has a bucket and a drum stick. He usually has one pant leg pulled up. He plays this bucket with the same intensity of Neil Peart. He doesn’t even have anything to throw change in. Playing the bucket is his part-time job. He usually plays for a couple of hours at a time. This has been another segment of local legends.

Honeymoon – 8.1/10
Coherence – 8.7/10

Couple of beauties here. Both have the same intense build up without the gore or boogeyman tactic. If you can understand Coherence without having to look up some of the details online; you will receive a round of applause from me.

The PC ads that are currently out are even more dumbed down than usual. Ripping on Justin Trudeau about his hair and wanting to send jackets to Syria. Pretty soon it’s going to be that he orders daiquiris and dislikes Rush.

There is something out called the Sustainable Market. It allows you to order fruits, vegetables, maple syrup, flowers, herbs, and all things garden related online. You can then pick up your order from a place in Waterloo or Guelph. With people not really having time to shop properly, this is a great way to get your core ingredients. Wonderful idea.

http://sustainablemarket.ca/

Game of Thrones is done for another season. And with that, you can start to enjoy your summer. Something about that show makes me want to drink a giant stout, grow a beard, and learn how to sword fight.

At least 3 other people could have fit on that dragon.

Chicago Blackhawks won another cup. It’s really hard to dislike this team. They have the best leader in hockey, and are an extremely humble team. If I hear that Chelseadagger song one more time though…

In all my years of existence I have never thrown a dish with food on it before. It seems like this is a regular occurrence on TV. It seems fairly stupid to me. If you throw it at another person, it seems unlikely that they will clean up the mess. If you are just angry about something else, then you will have to clean up the mess. It seems as though any way that you slice it that you are have work to do.

I really enjoy driving slowly. Not to the point that you are angering the person that is behind you, but just a good pace where I am not stressing anybody out. I always envision people that weave in and out of lanes as people that sit in cubicles and throw footballs to each other in the office while taking other people’s money.

Sufjan Stevens new album is terrific. It might be his best. Illinoise is tough to beat, but have a listen to Carrie and Lowell, it might be Neo from the Matrix. 9.3/10

Mortal Kombat taught us that fatal ways to die are better than just dying regularly.

Everybody always had that cousin that loved to climb everything. They would go to the top of a tree and everybody would be cheering them on. “Yes, that small branch there. The one that looks like a twig. That should be able to support 94 pounds. Give it a shot.” Then you would hear the crunch of the branch, while they attempted to plant the first foot. “Oh maybe not, maybe you should come down.” They would try it again with a more tender foot, and hear a softer crunch. “Maybe go for it now. It seems to be stabilizing?”

Here’s hoping that Will Ferrell doesn’t become the new Adam Sandler. Sweat pants, fart noises, and Rob Schneider playing every ethnic origin. His last few movies have been awfully suspect. Is he getting into that dangerous old man comedian area where you have lost the crowd? You just keep going back to the dried up well. The next project due out is about a washed up ball player that becomes a mascot to try to get back in the good graces of the ball team that cut him.

Intentionally injuring yourself so you don’t have to go to a hockey game; to continue drinking at a buddy’s place seemed to be a logical choice made by an acquaintance at the time.

Kraft Dinner and the reasons Gwyneth Paltrow loves it.

“Am I right, or am I right?” is the worst thing that you have to respond to after something that was offensive was said. Any response that you give is going to be terrible. I usually pretend that I didn’t hear them correctly and say a soft “what?” Then depending on the person they will either repeat the awful thing louder, or they will realize that they are an idiot.

Golf in the early morning is the most difficult time to judge whether its shorts weather or pants weather. These are the things that you have to worry about as a retired man.

Unfortunately we are going to see a crisis in the craft beer market. There are too many breweries being opened up for the amount of population that we have in Southern Ontario. The increase of sales will not continue at quite this pace forever. This could be a tough market in about 5 years.

There is a gentlemen in downtown Kitchener that has a shopping cart. He likes to put cardboard signs with things written on it all around the shopping cart. These things don’t make any sense to me. There is something written about “Dogter MacTavish and Tom Thumb.” Sara and I would like to know what any of these things mean, but it might be a conversation that can never be unheard again.

The Stanley Cup Finals begun last night. Everybody put up their hands that think Jonathan Toews is the best leader in the NHL over the past 25 years.

This past Game of Thrones episode was the epitome of a show flexing its muscles. “Oh, you think I’ve been going along a little too slowly. Take a good look brother. And let the throne run all over you.” My mouth was wide open for nearly the whole hour.

I think I told somebody recently that I missed the show Gossip Girl. Things that should not be repeated by anybody. Unless you are from the upper east side of course.

You have to be an extremely cheap person if you watch a cam version of Mad Max. You are the same person that probably watched the snowed version of The Movie Network on Friday nights at about midnight 20 years ago.

Every time that I see a snow queen type role in any Disney movie; I always think that the role would be perfect for Gwyneth Paltrow. Currently at an 87% clip of seeing her on TV I mutter “she sucks.”

Pasta with red tomato sauce is the beginners cooking recipe. There are people that even screw this up. They might even get the one that has garlic in there if they are feeling adventurous.

Mosh pits are frightening to me. Being pushed around a circle seems to have very little enjoyment. I think I am more in the getting in the middle of a circle and busting out the cookie bake-off type crew.

Once again I witnessed the bat flip from a player when his team was down 6-0 and he made it 6-2. Junior Lake of all guys flipped his bat like he was Albert Pujols. You should get one chance to throw at his crotch with a fastball in his next at bat. He has to stand directly facing the pitcher with his hands behind his head.

Watched a news story about a bus driver that was about to be fired for making a child get off of the bus after causing some problems. Another student had filmed the bus driver forcing the child off of the bus. Parents were calling for his dismissal, furious at him for being so awful. The bus driver had installed a camera at the front of the bus the day before to show the type of abuse that he takes. He took multiple shots off of the side of the head of the kids back pack. After seeing this video the school and parents backed down from their call for firing. The fact that the bus driver had to put a camera up to protect himself from prosecution is pathetic. Another instance of calling for blood before knowing both sides of the story.

There was nothing more frightening for a non-athletic person to monkey hit a ball in front of the class. The boo-birds would come out fast and furious if you missed the tennis ball more than twice in a row. Pressure would mount. The third one better be cranked to the outfield. After 5 terrible at bats you were done.

Kraft Dinner was on sale for $0.65 recently. You have many emotions when you see this price for Kraft Dinner. Fear that you will eat it every day for lunch over the next week. Sadness that you might not buy enough boxes and will have to pay regular price. And then regret after eating it in your boxers on a sunny Wednesday morning.