Liquid metal did it all for the Nookie

Volkswagon! Why? “Also the airbags don’t work. Didn’t think anyone would notice that either.”

Kurt Vile has made a wonderful new record – b’lieve I am goin down. Guitar work is immaculate, and the tone of the whole album in general is just a thing of beauty. 8.9/10

I like being experimental with food. Except for with chips. You are the worst if you are hosting an event and everybody is enjoying the evening and you go to grab snacks and this is said right after. “I haven’t tried these before, but they look great. Avocado barbeque chips anyone?” I know some of you think that sounds good. Well, it kind of does, but please have dill pickle on file just in case.

Me, Earl, and the Dying Girl – 8.4/10

Perfectly shot and fantastically written. Tough story line, but really well done. I recommend this to everyone, including you Dhooma. If it has more than 3 paragraphs of dialogue and no robots Dhooma is out.

Fantasy Football is a roller coaster of emotion. You believe your team is solid. Davante Adams is going to break out this year. 2 weeks later. “Davante Adams is sh**!”

In recent studies it has shown that Toronto is the worst city in North America to drive in. Great night tonight. Paid $200.00 for each Leaf ticket, was stuck in traffic for 2 hours. Paid $40.00 for parking, and the Leafs lost 5-0. And we are just now figuring out that this isn’t a fantastic evening for the whole family.

At one point in my life I was playing the Sims and made the Sims all my current friend’s names. I would walk around town and talk to them and see what they were up to. It was entertaining to see what they were doing, and see how closely they resembled my actual friends. I then realized that I could actually really do this if I wanted to, and stopped playing the game.

There was always that one kid at the pool that attempted to do crazy stunts off of the diving board. You knew one of these times he was going to really hurt someone or himself, but somehow it never happened. Wonder what he is doing now?

Everyone always feels uncomfortable around police officers. Even if we aren’t doing anything wrong. We just assume that they are like the Terminator from T2. They are going to look right at us, understand that there was a point that we did glance at our phone while driving; morph from liquid metal into a motorcycle and come after us.

There should be support groups for bad music that we have purchased when we were younger. Sit around in a circle and talk about it. “How did you feel the first time that you heard Nookie? Did you feel like you did it all for that?”

Halloween is coming up. I do enjoy dressing up. I always get put into costumes that are extremely uncomfortable, and have to grow a moustache for. Actually I think this is my own doing. I just look so damn attractive with that beautiful area of hair above my upper lip.

There are three times in my life that I have agreed to things that I wouldn’t have normally agreed to; because I didn’t hear what they said and was just trying to be polite.

You would think that I would follow this up with my top 3, but the Jays game is starting.  D Smith out!

Advertisements

Gowron raising money for his Kickstarter campaign in Port Dover

Blue Jay fans are completely on the bandwagon. We had to buy tickets a month out for the Red Sox series recently. I do think scalpers deserve this though. It’s been twenty years of trading September Blue Jay tickets for Raul Mondesi 3rd year Topps near mint condition cards.

Finally went for a haircut. When the hardest part of your life is trying to find a time with your hairdresser; because of your 9-5 schedule, you are probably doing alright.

I know you want your child’s name to be unique. I realize you want them to feel special. They will thank you if you just give them a name that is easy to spell. Rebekkah has wasted 379 hours spelling her name to strangers in the future.

In Montreal they are changing some of the Liberal signs to Klingon Gowron signs due to its dark colours. I approve.

gowron

Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation – 8.7/10
Terminator: Genysis shithead from the future that goes back in time as part-machine – 2.1/10

If you are not watching Sense8, you should be. One of the best character developed scifi shows that I have seen in years. It’s on Netflix, and available on all things jail-broken.

When I was a young lad I always remember one of my birthdays in particular. I had received a present that was a squirt gun that contained purple liquid that my mother thought would stain the entire house. She watched in complete horror as it was sprayed all over the house with giddiness by young children. It was consumed with delight as it looked like purple kool-aid. This was the best and worst birthday gift of all time. It did stain the house, and we had to sell the house at a reduced value afterwards.

After working in retail for many years I can now safely say that the worst joke to say to somebody working in retail is when they ask if you need a hand – is to clap.

The feeling of getting a brown envelope in your mail box is either fantastic or terrible. There is no in between.

If women want to bike topless – go ahead. I’ve had to see many of men walking in downtown Kitchener with a smoke in their mouth, jean shorts on, with their Motley Crue shirt around their waste. It would be a nice change of pace.

I prefer not to discuss politics in my blog. But Orange Crush is a very tasty soda.

Now thinking back of going to the driving range, I kind of feel bad about aiming at the dude on the tractor that was rounding up all the golf balls. That was a dick move by Smith, and I apologize if it has any lingering effects on your adult life. You did get 500 made-up points for hitting the tractor though.

One of my few talents is to look like I am really trying hard to lift something heavy when there is 4 people lifting something into a truck. Really, I am just doing enough so it doesn’t hit the ground.

I joined a gym. I joined Movati. Which used to be called the Athletic Club. I never thought this day would ever happen. I am pretty sure I owe somebody ten bucks from my home town.

Did everybody enjoy Boot’s and Hearts a couple of weekends ago? I would rather have a full pickle jar thrown at my grown by David Price from 7 feet away than go to that festival.

Sara and I were recently in the Port Dover area. We visited a couple of breweries and wineries; had a little lunch in the Dover, and then ventured back home. We tried to fit in Home Depot, but we just didn’t have time.

Thong sandals feel like a violation on my toes.

Some people like the idea of breakfast in bed. Until it actually happens. You are eating pancakes drenched over syrup on a small table, over a $300.00 white duvet. “Kids, I just really want to eat with you guys in the kitchen.”

Just recently Sara and I went to our first Kickstarter campaign. It involved a free dinner, a couple of free drinks, and an iPad win for Daryl. Just another Sunday night for the Smith-Dhooma team.