Distracting nose hair left at Bingeman’s by Brendan Fraser

The show Fortitude is excellent.  It’s like Fargo on drugs.

Went to Sheridan Nurseries to pick up some plants to help enhance the taste of the salads within our household.  This is a middle aged adults dream.  The excitement for attractive plants is at an all-time high in May.

It Follows – 9.2/10

The best horror movie of the year.  Shot like an ’80s movie.  Tense moments without using gore or the boogeyman tactic.

Black Sea – 7.8/10

Jude Law puts together a misfit crew to go after a sunken treasure after being let go from his job.  Law is terrific.  The premise of the movie is cool, but lacks execution in the end.  Still a good watch though.

If you haven’t been to Adventure Room, you must go. It’s one of the most original things to do in the KW area.  It’s like being in a video game yourself.  There are so many variations that are possible for this.  It will be the next big thing.

Block 3 in St. Jacobs was packed on Saturday.  I guess after being bored out of your mind antiquing in St. Jacobs you deserve a growler of fantastic beer.

Omar Khadr, you’ve got more class than the whole f—–g cabinet.  This was awkwardly said while the theme for Welcome back Kotter was played by Green Party leader Elizabeth May.  It was about as well received as Seth MacFarlane at the Oscars.

You always felt bad for that kid that had a parent that had no idea how to tie skates.  How their ankles didn’t break out there is beyond me.

Saying Scouts Honour shouldn’t be used anymore.  There is no question that you will be back stabbed if this is stated to you in a movie.

I hope that I never become that dude that has so much nose hair coming out that it’s distracting.  Do you think that shaping your nose hair into a moustache will ever become a style?  No, well then pluck your nose hair you greasy animal.

What do you think Brendan Fraser is doing right now?  He probably locked himself into that underground shelter from Blast From the Past.  His popularity was never higher at that point.  He probably has a stuffed Alicia Silverstone from Clueless down there as well.

“Sir” is the best title to have in front of your name.  “Captain” isn’t bad either.

Mayweather vs Pacquiao – probably could never live up to the hype.  It was about as exciting as receiving cheese and crackers in your lunch in grade 6.  You weren’t quite as exciting as yogurt, but a bit more exciting than the apple.

I had my first french vanilla from Tim Horton’s yesterday.  I didn’t sleep last night.  The combination of sugar and caffeine in that drink is similar to drinking straight syrup from the slurpee machine.

Cheers to those times that you get mad at your vacuum for not picking up that thing that you could pick up with your fingers very easily.   You just constantly go over the same thing.  “You are going to pick up this full potato chip whether you like it or not.”

The Blue Jays are .500.  What a surprise.  Meat Loaf and gravy for all.

There is going to be an electric dance music festival at Bingeman’s in Kitchener.  They have cabins and camping.  This is not going to end well for anybody.  I would rather have my child skateboard down the side of the 401 rather than go to this festival.

We are going to start to put the stickers with the years written of when the wine is at it’s best to drink on the side of the bottle.  It’s like we discovered fire 30 years after it was actually discovered when this was thought of by us.

Dairy Queen was a zoo yesterday.  You have two styles when you order food from Dairy Queen.  The quiet whisper of large blizzard or the overly aggressive “I will have Rolo, Reese, and Oreo in there.”

Mother’s Day was yesterday.  The constant ambush of baby pictures was put on hold for one day.  The cease fire will not last long.

Hozier has a terrific voice.  Take me to Church is a wonderful song.  Could you please play it every ninety seconds on multiple radio stations?  Thanks.

Is there a knuckleballers association that says that you must have at least one knuckleballer in Major League Baseball at all times.  There always seems to be a mid 40’s mediocre knuckleballer being run out there every 20 years or so.

Don’t sit on the roof if you are contemplating anything.  People always get the wrong idea.  Go sit on a bench in a park or something.  You don’t look stable up there.


Eating Balogna after Throwing a Gem in Kincardine

We have installed an air conditioner into our tiny abode.  It releases air that is cold to keep you from melting.

Avengers “Age of Ultron” – 7.4/10

It was exactly what you expected from the Avengers.  All action, quick wit, and the slaughtering of robots.  Nothing remarkably good or bad.

Spring – 7.1/10

This movie had a pile of potential.  Young guy goes to Italy after losing his last family member to cancer.  He backpacks, then decides to work on a farm. Falls in love with a local Italian woman that isn’t all that she seems.  Some cool dialogue and specials effects. It loses it’s luster after a while, and drags on a bit.

Steak test on the cast iron grill has been completed.  After many glasses of wine and deliberation.  I have decided that it’s excellent.

There isn’t a more disappointed look in a person’s eye than a dentist that has found out that you don’t floss as much as you should.

Years ago I bought tickets for a Built to Spill show in Toronto.  They were playing back to back nights.  I was debating which night that they would put on a better performance.  Subsequently purchased the tickets.  Put the tickets in the drawer of my desk.  As months went on my brain decided that I had bought the tickets for the other night.  I pulled the tickets out of the desk drawer and noticed that the concert had started one hour ago, and I was in Kitchener.  Built to Spill was devastated by the news that they vowed to never release an album or come to Canada ever again.  Until now!


Once again we were blown away by the service at Kacaba winery.  They not only allowed us to try every single wine that has ever been made.  They allowed us to use their barbeque to cook up a tasty lunch.  If you haven’t been there yet, then you are an idiot.

The Toronto Bluejays are as mediocre as a bowl of oatmeal with stale raisins.

I finally received the OK from Sara to put up my no-hitter ball which is placed in a case.  She doesn’t realize the amount of stress that goes into a class “d” ball no-hitter.  Having the six fans standing in awe over your final 56 MPH fastball.  Dripping sweat off of the uneven mound of the Kincardine ball field.  Capturing the umpire’s extraordinarily large strike zone.  It all came together on one magical evening.  Many people ask how I felt after throwing the gem.  I felt great, great and sore.

Why would you ever leave One Direction as a teenage boy?  I really can’t think of a better profession.  This has a Gob Bluthe terrible mistake quote written all over it.

I tried to watch a Star Wars movie on May the 4th.  I like to engage in all things nerdy.  It’s just, the Star Wars movies aren’t worth my bandwidth.

It would probably get a bit boring walking down the railroad tracks with nowhere to go.  It would seem exciting at the start, but the stick with all of your possessions in a handkerchief could only last you so long.  You should use a backpack.

Niagara Falls Comic Con is coming up.  I really like the guest list that they have there.  Actually mainly I just want to meet former wrestlers.  Nikolai Volkov, The Iron Shiek, and King Kong Bundy.  Would I take a Bundy splash, and pay money for it?  Yes!

We drove through Dashwood recently.  One of the few things that I remember about Dashwood is that when they played ball against us that they wore jeans.  That, and they were terrible.

Why do people use extravagant words to describe something that you know that the words that they are using aren’t necessary?  You see this all the time at a concert.  People are on their cell phones, talking to friends, grabbing beers, going outside for smokes.  But when you ask them about the concert.  “It was epic.  Flawless performance.  Amazing, once in a lifetime experience.”  Your scale is broken if you rate everything 10/10.

You want to act cool after you hammer your elbow off of a wall due to taking the corner to sharp out of the kitchen.  Then your wife asks if you are alright.  You play it cool.  You are just mad at the wall.  You might even blame her for moving something in the vicinity to throw off your route.

The day has come that we have to stop talking about bacon.  The marketing industry has caught on.  Everything is marketed towards bacon.  Bacon on the outside of the crust on a pizza?  I am on to bologna…. And I am back to bacon.  Bologna is terrible.