Yahoo Serious cooking armadillo over an open fire at Rib Fest today

Every time it gets this hot it makes me think of putting on a mesh shirt, cut off jean shorts that show the pockets, and a pair of glasses that have that beautiful top frame. Kind of like this.

Rib Fest is currently going on. Sara and I are venturing down there after she is finished work. How many people have been turned to the dark side by bacon or ribs?

Started watching the show “Humans” recently. Very good scifi show about a group of androids that are able to think for themselves. And the people hunting them. 8.6/10

I have developed ways to move a tale forward told by a long-winded story teller. This only works if you have already heard the story. If you haven’t, you will need to suffer or just be a douche and walk away. You throw in key words that ruin mediocre story parts that are anti-climactic. Try it out. Just not on me, you dick.

A sleeveless Neo jacket from the Matrix is an outfit that we witnessed yesterday. When you put that on there is no telling where the night could end. Are you fighting crime, going to an underground club, or are you just going to the local Money Mart?

Nothing good ever happens when a group of people are holding sticks that have fire bellowing off of the end of it while walking in unison towards a building. If you are in that building, there is no reasoning with them. They have already made up their mind. And you should leave now.

Amy Schumur is the new sweetheart of the world. This seems to happen to us every year or so. We broke up with Jennifer Lawrence, and are now dating Amy Schumur. We are also still casually flirting with Tina Fey and Amy Poehler as well. But it’s nothing. I swear it’s nothing.

(Pan-Am Games rant)

People are extremely upset about Kanye West being the entertainment for the closing ceremonies. They are just trying to sell tickets. What they should have done is have a Canadian act as the co-headliner. Arcade Fire, Drake, or even Hedley could have been the token Canadian act. Why are we so angry about this anyways? Most people didn’t want the games to begin with, and now we are getting upset about the act that they get to close the ceremonies. Yes, he is a megalomaniac. Yes, he is a jerk. But he is one of the biggest names in music and he sells tickets.

Back to regularly scheduled programming. There are people that can’t smell asparagus in their pee. It’s a very small percentage of people, and I wish I was one of them.

I know that there is consequences when I am going to eat a Blizzard. It’s a real balance with how good it’s going to taste, and how bad you are going to feel. Every bite is putting another bullet into the lactose gun. Maybe if I put more chocolate into it I will not be quite as injured? There are many ways you can tip the scales into a more favorable format, but in the end. You still lose, and so does your significant other.

Sometimes I felt bad for the gentle giant at parties. Every time some rough housing would start people would look to him to fix the situation. It was always the same guy that started shit. Now thinking back, the gentle giant should have had pepper spray. That always slows everybody down. Maybe not Jean Claude Van Damme, but the average 106 lb shit talker from Letterkenny, yes.

You had to be stoned to do the camera work for Polka Dot Door. Panning the camera over to a stuffed bear pretending that he is saying something witty is a weird job to have.

bear

Did Yahoo Serious ever sue the search engine Yahoo? He is probably in the outback cooking Armadillo over an open fire as we speak; looking at a “Young Einstein” poster with a single tear running down his face. He might not even know that the internet was created. Or did he create it? Things to think about on a balmy Sunday morning in the tri-cities.

Rapa Nui – 6.1/10 (early 90’s flick)

This is a movie about the aboriginal people that lived on Easter Island. The scenery is nice. Acting is ok. The only reason to watch it is that they have a training montage to prepare for the Birdman competition. No, Michael Keaton is not in this gem.

Top 3 things to do to prepare for Rib Fest.

1. Consume many vegetables the days leading up to the event.
2. Speak caveman, eat meat from bone
3. Put on a mesh shirt and a sleeveless Neo Matrix jacket

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Charleston shootings and burying our heads in the sand

After seeing what happened in Charleston I can completely understand why people tune out the news.  Seeing such hate happen in a place where people are supposed to feel safe.  When I ask people why they don’t watch the news or keep up on world events; what they tell me is that all the negativity in the world makes them feel bad.  They would rather hear about the kid that got saved from the well.  Or the dog that rescued a kitten trying to cross the street.  You need to know what’s going on in the world so you can make an informed decision about certain topics.  Supporting the right candidate or taking a stand against certain injustices.  You don’t even need to leave your home to make a difference.  You can protest on multiple social media fronts.  This has a bigger impact than actually protesting if you get enough people on board.

You need to know where people stand on particular stories.  If we just bury our head in the sand, we will continue to make the same mistakes as a human race.  If our children are frightened of every single person of certain ethnic origins how are we going to evolve as a species.  After hearing about the Charleston shootings, I felt anger.  It feels like every time we take a step forward that we take three steps back.  Whether it comes to sexual orientation, sexism, or racial discrimination we need to be better than we are.  You can’t judge anybody for how they are born.  Whether it’s skin colour, gay, lesbian, man, or woman.  None of these things are decided by the individual.  It’s who the person is that is important.  The decisions that they make.  That’s what you can judge them on.

The way that I retrieve my news is extremely important.  Nearly everybody gets their knowledge online.  If you woke up this morning and went to Yahoo or MSN the story was about Tyra Banks and the way that she looks first thing in the morning.  That’s the news story.  How a person looks without makeup on.  Do you know the reason that’s the top story?  People click on it.  People don’t want to hear about somebody’s opinion about the hate crime that happened in Charleston.  It will be swept under the rug in about a week.  Could you imagine if this was a terrorist attack by a group from another country? The US would want blood-shed.  They might even prefer that, they could at least make sense of what happened.  But when it’s a plain old racist hate crime by one of their own.  Well, he’s just crazy then.  This is a one-off.  The US will take no responsibility for this.  Put their head back in the sand, and continue concentrating their hatred back on who they believe is the real enemy.

What do you think is going to happen when the younger generation grows up?  We haven’t faced any of the issues that directly impact our society.  We should have zero tolerance for any type of narrow-mindedness.  We can only move as quickly as our slowest person.  And in this case our slowest person has just shot up a church, and killed 9 African American’s in the process.  It does seem like we are climbing Mt. Everest with running shoes on.  Just sliding back down to the bottom of the mountain every second step.  What I try to tell myself after watching CBC news is to think about all angles before making a judgement call.  I am by no means perfect.  I have made a lot of mistakes in my years of living.  My attempts to better myself are sometimes difficult.  You grow up constantly hearing things that you are told to believe, and then have to decide for yourselves what is correct.  Listening to open-minded people is one of the things that I try to do on a consistent basis. Really hearing what they are saying rather than just waiting for your time to pipe in your own opinions.  I really dislike writing about these things, but in light of what happened in Charleston I think some of these things need to be stated.  And if you really want to hear it summed up perfectly watch Jon Stewart.