44 Years of Living

Posted on by Hosehead

Tomorrow, I’ll turn 44 – the same age that old man had his last kid. Fuck! That gives me all of the middle-aged man feelings. It’s wild to think back of who I was when I was younger and things that were learnt, places that I’ve gone, and people that I’ve met. I thought I would just take a rip today and go into the vault of the brain and see if there’s anything that I could share that helped me get to 44. You are welcome for the unsolicited advice. It’s not that I really know is better or worse than others – these things have helped me try to become a good man.

Don’t take life too seriously – it’s easy to go down a path of finding things to get angry about. Everyone is a weirdo – it’s just so much better when you embrace it.

Accept everyone – regardless of anything. You judge the person based on the person and nothing else.

Negative people are energy suckers – it’s some karma here but if you put out good vibes – things generally end up working out.

Watch Star Trek! It’s not just a show but it’s moral and ethical compass for how to live your life. It’s the way the world should be trending.

Travel! There’s not one time where I regretted going somewhere. I’ve definitely had buyers remorse for “stuff” but never for an experience.

Mentors are life changing. it’s difficult to get through life but if you find someone that just completely understands and challenges you, it makes you a better person. If you find someone that fits this mold – stay in touch.

Become comfortable being on your own. It took me a long time to get this one down. If you have a hard time living in your own head by yourself – the more shit that goes in there – it becomes difficult to just be happy by yourself.

Exercise/walk/hike/run – everything is a balance – if you work on a computer all day – your mood/anxiety/depression can all increase. It’s wild what a quick run will do for my mood.

Kids are cool! I’ve got 8 nieces and nephews – watching their personalities form is so fu**ing great. You are likely important in their life and you need to be a role model – it’s your duty.

Social Media is creating a generation of narcissistic sociopaths – this is just an observation that popped into my head – not advice.

Show empathy towards anyone that struggles with mental health and addiction. It’s difficult to know exactly how to help but when you can’t see the struggle, it doesn’t mean it’s not there.

There’s no reason to be loyal to a job. You can be loyal to people but companies generally only care about one thing. Moving to different jobs will give you a better perspective of what “good” looks like.

and on the opposite spectrum… If you find a boss/manager that you love working for – think long and hard before leaving there.

Be an open book with your life. It’s easier to build relationships when the other person knows exactly who you are.

What sparks your internal drive? Figure out what that is and build your career/hobbies/talents around that. Driving yourself to get better constantly is healthy – unfortunately some people’s obsession is $$$, which can (not always) have the opposite effect.

People say that the years move faster the older you get – that’s definitely true. Cheers to 44!

Petting Turtles While at the Poker Table in Vegas

Posted on by Hosehead

Some of my social media accounts were hacked last weekend and I’ve spent the entire week changing passwords, reporting incidents, and apparently helping people make BIG money in crypto. The low point was sitting at the Jays game, watching them get blown out on Sunday, baking in the sun, and fire-fighting with my Instagram account. If a little kid booted me in the balls that’s the only way that things could have gotten worse.

On the positive side, I received a disability cheque from the Government due to having colitis. It was comical going through the interviewing process… “how many times do you go to the washroom per day?” “Would you say the amount of time in the bathroom has caused your work to suffer?” Would you be more productive if you weren’t in the washroom so much?” It made me feel like George Castenza that I have a permanent work office in the can.

I’m going to Vegas twice this year. I really have no idea why I like Vegas so much – maybe the fact that it’s utterly ridiculously fake or that there’s is action at all times, or, that you can people watch the entire vacation and likely be amused. The last time there I saw a man with a cowboy hat at a poker table, the next morning he was still in the exact same seat but wearing shades. It makes me feel better about myself that my mild gambling habit hasn’t caused me to rip a cowboy hat and play poker for 12 straight hours.

The key to Vegas is having a plan. You can get stuck in stasis with sooo much to do and see – that you end up at a Pauly Shore comedy show and eating at Johnny Rockets. Have a plan, stick to it, and forget the Visa in the safe in the room.

Began running again, it really helps take the edge off of a stressful job. I’m also back in the nodding club… this is the people that are also exercising and taking care of their bodies – you get a slight nod of acceptance every time you run past them. The former club I was in (The Falls Road Bar Fly Club) has revoked my membership and is only allowing a single Guinness for each trip there.

My old man is a Hawks fan and I’m a Flyers fan – we currently have a contest of who is the worst run NHL team in the league between our two favourite teams. Tony DeAngelo for 3 draft picks!?!? He fought his own goalie, had a racial slur on ice, and was pissed when Trump was banned from Twitter to the point where he tried to fight it online. Yup, Flyers doing Flyers things with that pick-up. Maybe, they should see if they can pull Ron Hextall out of retirement.

If you ever want to feel bad about taking care of yourself – go to see a dental hygenist. My teeth are actually in pretty decent shape according to my dentist, but if my hygenist had anything to say about it, she would believe that my teeth might begin to fall out like a meth addict if I don’t begin flossing 16 times a day.

My favourite people to talk to during sales calls are from the South. There’s nothing better than getting a verbal from a guy from Tennessee with a “hell ya, I can get that done before then”.

Sara and I are finally going to pull the trigger on a dog. She has attempted to trick me by saying we can just visit dogs, or, we should get a robot dog, or, what about a fish. I’m standing my ground and we’re going to get a dog from the human society… fast-forward 6 months, Daryl is petting a turtle named Benny after Benjamin Sisko in Star Trek… “this isn’t so bad, I guess” Benny looks up at Daryl wondering what the fu** he’s doing petting him.

Posted on by Hosehead

How was the Star Trek Cruise?

I receive this question often, this is likely due to me spamming all social media for the past few months. It’s really difficult to explain why I loved it so much. My background of Trek is really only the past few years while trying to stay sane during the lockdowns and such. Sara used to take me to conventions in years past and I really only enjoyed the heavily fan-run ones versus the cash cow Comic-Con type.

For starters, everyone on the ship is like-minded, full of love, and excited to be their true selves, whatever that may be. It’s refreshing watching people let loose without fear of looking silly or their body type – it was a full-on party for 7 days straight. You could have a conversation with a 70-year-old man about something Trek-related and then look across the ship and see three people breakdancing to the Beastie Boys…there was just action everywhere and you could people watch for hours – never a dull moment.

You are up close and personal with the actors from multiple eras of Trek – this isn’t a having to wait in line for hours to get in the first couple of rows of their panels. You could walk in 20 min early, be served a glass of wine and watch the stars come up on stage one by one. While walking throughout the ship, you’d see stars walking around, sitting at a bar, hitting the buffet, and the fans were polite and respectful of their privacy didn’t see one occasion of an awkward exchange between the fans and the actors. The panels were excellent – none of it was scripted – it was just chatting on stage.

Most of the actors have other talents – whether it be Tim Russ (Tuvok from Voyager) playing with his blues band, Garrett Wong (Harry Kim from Voyager) doing stand-up comedy, or Kenneth Mitchell (multiple characters on Discovery) putting on a DJ set – there was never a dull moment. Speaking of Kenneth Mitchell, he suffers from ALS and during his performance, the cast of Discovery surrounded him dancing, while he DJ’d from his wheelchair – the fans were given glow-in-the-dark pool noodles to make it an unforgettable scene from the stadium seating. It was such an emotional moment seeing how much love they had for each other that it was almost unbearable to watch without getting teared up.

But, the number one thing about everything is seeing all of the fans and chatting with so many people and creating friendships. You’d see folks that you met for the first time the night before, you’d look a bit “dehydrated” and would chat about the previous night’s event. Whether it was a roaring 20’s party where balloons were scattered everywhere, or, Q’s costume event where there were dozens of unique outfits, or, the alternate universe evening where you could rock the evil or sexy version of the Trek character. It truly was one of the best times of my life and since my expectations before the cruise weren’t blown out of proportion, it was an extremely special experience. Oh, and I was constantly being checked out by all genders… which never hurts the ego 🙂

High-Fives for My Peeps

Posted on by Hosehead

As a human race, we were never supposed and we’re also not used to having every piece of knowledge at our fingertips. There have always been terrible things happening in the world but there has never been a time when we could get slapped in the face with it all at once. Add in the disinformation to manipulate the mass population to be swayed one way or the other and you’ve got a big ol’ bowl of “what’s the fu**ing point” soup. It’s really easy to get swept away by the giant picture and forget about the little things that make people happy.

It’s extremely difficult to get out of the negative mindset… even with the ability now to do more stuff, I’m still finding myself being pulled back in time and time again to stories and events that I cannot control – I see an injustice and I want to fix it but it’s overwhelming my brain seeing multiple struggles on the planet earth because I can only do so much… help so much. The billionaires that can do something about it, don’t. Yeah… depressing shit!

I’d like to offer up high-fives to those people that are fighting the uphill battle to help… Spending time with family members, getting involved in local events, helping small businesses, lending a hand to people in need, coaching a kid’s sports teams, taking an interest in their significant other’s hobbies, staying active, posting positive things online, learning to play an instrument, cutting back on their social media, using less filters for their pictures – because you’ve accepted yourself, stopping their obsession with celebrities, travelling to other parts of the world, telling others they have done a great job, messaging a teacher from back in the day that had an importance in your life today, being there for someone that needs it, checking in on someone that might also need it, mentoring someone, picking up a new skill, trying something new, making people laugh, going out of your way to help, holding the door open for an elderly person, buying a meal for anybody, complimenting someone on their look/attire, reviewing movies online, supporting live music, then posting about it… you folks deserve a high-five, and are what’s going to help us get over these dark days until Starfleet has a chance to be formed.

It’s so easy to get caught up in the bullshit of the world that to pull yourself out of it, do some good. I can guarantee it’ll make you feel better about the earth and who lives on it.

Craft Beer, and Where To Eat in the Tri-Cities

Posted on by Hosehead

For those that know me, you are likely fully aware that I’m a big fan of craft beer. In this blog, I’ll feature the restaurants that do it right and a small description of why I love the places so much. It’s easy to get lazy when it comes to finding the places to eat and support, due to how easy it is to just hit chains. They’re familiar, you know the menu, you understand what you like from there, it’s quick and easy… fully get it.

Arabella Beer Bar:

When they initially opened, I thought it was an extremely cool spot; they had a wicked selection of beer, excellent snacky food and a cool hipster vibe. Arabella doesn’t have TVs to fully promote chatting with people, instead of staring mindlessly at a sports game. Then, they went through a phase of constantly being slammed with people, extremely loud, music was even louder, and it was difficult to chat in a friendly setting. On top of this, they went through a phase of having A LOT of sours (yuck!). Recently, I decided to give it a few more chances, and to my happiness, they are back, and with a vengeance. Start with the food; they have a top-notch smash burger, the legendary chip truck fries that are deep-fried with a malt vinegar type oil, and many other incredible sharing options. Arabella has also honed on their beer selection – they have various top craft beer options and do an excellent job of mixing and matching Porters, Stouts, IPAs, Lagers, Barrel-Aged, Pilseners, etc., from the best breweries in Ontario. Also, their patio setting is excellent in the cutesy Belmont Village area… I highly recommend giving them a shot on a hot summer day.

Falls Road:

Right around the corner from my place is the hole-in-the-wall pub, Falls Road. The building is TINY, formerly an Enterprise car rental place. What makes this place unique, besides the fantastic regulars that can constantly be seen there, is their live music. Every weekend they get top-notch musicians, and being such a small establishment, the sound is fantastic. The pub food they offer is one of the best in the city, and they constantly upgrade their sauces and recipes, experimenting with new flavours. The craft beer selection is alright, they bring in a few of the different KW-craft beers, but that isn’t their specialty… they pour the best Guinness in the city, and it’s a wicked vibe there always.

The Bent Elbow:

The Elbow’s vibe is great. You sit down and receive a beer bible, which is a book that explains the flavour of each beer – they have blues/jazz/classic rock playing in the background. Harold is the snarly owner that loves to chat and knows his stuff in regards to food, beer, and sports. The food is excellent, coming in huge portions with a lot of flavours. The Elbow is the OG of craft beer bars, doing it around a decade earlier than everyone else… and poke fun at the Coors Lite and Bud Lite drinkers of the world by having the urinal flusher being a Bud Lite keg handle, while the Coors Lite keg is literally water. The beer selection is constantly revolving and has some misses and some hits, but it’s really about the against-the-grain vibe that makes it so appealing.

AOK Craft Beer and Arcade:

It was a happy day when AOK re-opened their doors post-lockdowns – they were only open for a few months before having to close down due to the pandemic, it was a great feeling. AOK has classic video games, ballpark-type food, and a wicked craft beer selection. The coolest thing about their bar is that you never know if you are going to have people hitting it up after work, a family with kids playing the games, or craft beer lovers. It’s a unique place that is run by a top-notch staff and is by far the most fun place to have a quick bite to eat and a couple of great pints. Whether you want to shoot hoops, play Tetris, classic pinball, Super Smash Brothers, AOK has it all… it’s very likely you will see me there at 5 pm on a Wednesday or Thursday weekly.

The Gator’s Tail:

The crown jewel of Southern Ontario. They do it all! Yuk Yuks, sports bar, karaoke, great service, fantastic cajun style food, and THE BEER… The difference between Gator’s and the rest is that if you want a Bud or Coors, you can get that, but the gem is their craft beer menu. Every single brewery that they bring in is the cream of the crop – they also specialize in IPAs, which makes it so difficult to choose a couple of beers, because I have to drive. There’s nothing better than going to Gator’s on a Sunday afternoon, watching 3 different football games at the bar area, having their famous gumbo, and sipping on a Third Moon and then a Badlands. I can’t say enough great things about this place, they are generally pretty quiet and have a really cool bar seating area… the owners are extremely good people, that take care of their employees, and the regulars are all super-nice.

If you haven’t checked out these places, I highly recommend checking them out. One thing that you’ll notice is that all f of these places are small businesses and their love of the food, vibe, and beer has earned them regulars like myself.

Ottawa Is Still a Mess

Posted on by Hosehead

It’s been a wild ride in Ottawa. As I’m watching the police finally take action, you have to wonder if there’s another country in the world that would allow their country’s capital to be occupied for three-four weeks with people partying, screaming freedom, and causing the downtown of Ottawa to be disrupted that’s not related to physical-mistreatment, genocide, murder, etc… People in France tried to pull this stunt and tear gas was used within hours… I have a feeling that’s how the majority of places would have handled this.

While watching CBC there are very few people of any ethnic diversity – it’s mainly Caucasian folks. I try to envision the BLM movement trying this same stunt… what would this have looked like?

What if a Liberal Government had been in control of the Province or a Conservative Government had been in control of the country?

What happens now? Ottawa was overrun and was taken control of for nearly a month – what happens the next time something happens… will this be attempted again? Will they use more force on either side?

It’s impressive that there hasn’t been much violence. With this many people in an area with strong views, sometimes emotion can cause violence – it doesn’t seem to be the case here, I guess that’s one positive.

There will be a Netflix series based on these events – there’s just too much gold content from every single angle. Rob Wells from Trailer Park Boys has to play Pat King.

Would this have happened if it was the Summertime? Winter is depressing and it’s not easy to get outside to relieve some of the Cabin fever.

The lack of trust in the media, science, and healthcare is alarming. If nobody can agree to who the ‘experts’ are, we’re running blind. Will there ever be trust again, or, does the skeptical nature and the spread of misinformation on the internet continue to pull people in different directions?

To end this off, in my opinion, the real cracks of our system were shown in the healthcare system… I’m immunocompromised – having ulcerative colitis and having to take Remicade for treatment leaves me susceptible… Sara works in healthcare and saw some sh**… I also had to have 3 medical procedures pushed back due to the pandemic, luckily everything is ok. The whole point of everything was to ensure that the healthcare system didn’t get overwhelmed – it nearly did, and it shouldn’t have… the cuts to Healthcare that have been going on for years, finally caught up to us.

After all of this is said and done, it comes down to there are two types of people in the world, and what they value…

  1. Do what’s right for the greater good of everyone
  2. Do what I believe is right for myself and my family

Sometimes they line up… and, sometimes they don’t…

The Odd Things That Are Happening in Ontario

Posted on by Hosehead

Ontario is a “great” place to live right now. Set aside all of the mandates and vaccine talk for a minute… we have a mob of people in our country’s capital screaming about freedom at Prime Minister, Trudeau and disrupting Ottawa’s downtown. There are trucks blocking the borders disrupting other truckers from getting their deliveries to places on time… potentially, causing Toyota to have to shut down their factories because they can’t get parts. Both Saskatchewan and Alberta have fully opened up, which has made the “freedom fighters” believe that their actions have caused this, which is actually probably true. Remember, there are provinces that have opened up and Trudeau didn’t have anything to do with that (I’m fully aware that Trudeau definitely gives his recommendations and it’s up to the provinces if they take the suggestions or not)… this is key to the whole point of this blog.

All of this venom is being spewed at Trudeau, and in my personal opinion, Trudeau has made some bad calls during the pandemic… moving an election up during a pandemic when he’s been preaching to stay at home. CERB was extremely unorganized and chaotic. Going on vacation at in-opportun times while again, preaching everyone else to stay at home. I’ve given him a bit of a break since this is unprecedented times and even early on I thought Ford was bringing the province together better than Trudeau was.

But, let’s shift ahead to today…

In Ford’s province, he’s allowing a movement to spread that there are very little to no consequences for anybody causing problems anywhere in his province. This has allowed it to gain steam and people now believe they’re invincible and it’s become a (somewhat) lawless province with zero backlash from our Provincial Government and also leaving the province more divided than I’ve ever seen it. Let’s take a step back from all of the hatred towards our Liberal Government and use some factual evidence of who controls what.

Provincial (Doug Ford):

  • Masks
  • Vaccine mandates
  • Opening/closing of businesses
  • Number of people allowed indoors for events

Federal (Justin Trudeau):

  • Vaccine mandates for cross-border activity (except for going into the US, which is the only country that we border with – that’s on Biden). The only thing that can be stood upon is Trudeau trying to negotiate with Biden. If you know anything about politics, the US don’t generally give in to anybody, let alone Canada.

So, there are a few things happening here and none of it’s logical, which makes it kind of hilarious but also extremely embarrassing. Once you cut through the noise, this is what’s really being said.

  • I’m hating on Trudeau because he’s Liberal.
  • I think it’s all a conspiracy, and the Healthcare system is in “fine order”, but I’m mad at the wrong person
  • I’m mad because I don’t like wearing a mask, but I’m angry at the wrong person
  • I’m mad because I want the choice to be vaccinated and not forced, but I’m angry at the wrong person again
  • I’m using this as a vehicle to get other points across, or, to help gain power for other movements
  • I’m just mad and I want to party with like-minded folks
  • I don’t know anything about who’s in control of what, and everyone seem like their mad at Trudeau, I’ll join in.
  • I don’t give a shit about any of this, I just want to blow off some steam and honk my horn and yell freedom.
  • I just don’t want to be told what to do and I know who to be mad at, but “Fu** Trudeau” anyways because he sucks.
  • I always vote PC and bitch about anybody else in power other than them.
  • I’m tired of working from home and I once went to a tailgating party at a Steelers game in Pittsburgh… drank a little too much, but it was a really fun time and I want to relive that event for a full month instead of a day.

Personally, I try to stay neutral, but logic always has to reign true when it comes to anything, and I’ve got no idea where any logic lies in this protest other than people are just mad and don’t like Trudeau, which is likely the truest answer.

Wearing a Hawaiian Shirt at Tim Horton’s

Posted on by Hosehead

Sara and I have been trying to watch documentaries every Sunday morning. We watched one recently that told a story about voter suppression within the United States. The main storyline talked about Stacey Abrams running for Georgia Governor and how the entire system is meant to keep people down. The quick definition of voter suppression… it’s a strategic way to influence an election by discouraging people or making it difficult for people to vote. The documentary is called All In: The Fight for Democracy (100% of Rotten Tomatoes). It should be watched by every single person – especially now with Freedom chants coming from folks in Canada about lifting (in my opinion – yes, I know others feel strongly about this, I’m not one of them) very minor mandates. This is a real struggle that continues to happen really close to home even today. It put everything into perspective for me and was the exact shot in the arm that I needed to fully understand that the rich and powerful will do anything possible to stay at the top.

Now that this is out of my system… back to your regularly scheduled programming.

This seems par for the course for Covid times, but my bi-annual colonoscopy and endoscopy is on Sara and my wedding anniversary. Nothing more romantic than arriving back home after being probed and prodded, and being asked… “everything cool with your bum Mr. Pooks?”

On the document that needs to be filled out for the preparation of the colonoscopy, there’s a question that asks… “have you had this procedure before and was it comfortable?”  Like, did I enjoy it? Or, was it tolerable? What kind of question is this?

My average screen time is shown to me every Sunday at around 8 am. Maybe they should change it to make me feel like even more of an addict when they post it. “Hey loser, you looked at 26 articles about your shi**y Philadelphia Flyers – maybe pick up a book sometime A**hole”.

The first Sunday that football isn’t on after having it for a few months is weird… like, what do you do at 1 pm now? Do I start gambling on reality cooking shows? Is there a Red Zone version for curling? Does Jamaica still have a bobsled team? I don’t remember owning that shirt that I’m wearing in a 15-year-old Facebook picture.

For years, I was a big fan of Tim Horton’s coffee. I’d buy a double-double and eat a muffin every single morning. Not until years later did I realize that this not only was an unhealthy way to start the day but shaking from sugar withdrawal was not healthy? Apparently, being able to see electricity because of your caffeine and sugar highs “isn’t great” for your body.

I use the professional version of Grammarly for business emails and for my blogs. There are currently so many blue underlines for better ways to phrase sentences that I’m shortly going to say… “why don’t you write the fu**ing blog di**”

Lighting Toilet Paper on Fire in a Snuggie

Posted on by Hosehead

In the news this week… dude lights multiple toilet paper displays on fire at three different Walmart locations in the KW area – ruining millions of dollars worth of merchandise.  It is hard not to laugh about how ridiculous this is. “Here we go boys, here’s the plan… we’re going to hit up 3 Walmart’s simultaneously, storm the TP department and light it all on fire”  Gus, already suspect about Paul’s other plans of the McDonald’s cheeseburger contest and getting his Mustang up on two wheels for 1 km… “yeah… I’m out man”.

At the beginning of working from home, everyone had their webcams on – you were trying to keep connected and professional.  Now, every square foot of the household is being used to take calls, for it to feel different.  Laying under the table, eating a block of cheese, wearing your last clean shirt (Some 5k walk that you did to raise money for the foxes in Alberta) listening to the forecasts of Q4 wouldn’t be surprising. 

Top 3 Things Nobody Gives a Shit About If They aren’t Involved:

3 – Fantasy football – if you ever want to see someone’s eyes glaze over go through your roster and the reason that you are handcuffing certain running backs.  This really could be a cure for insomnia

2 – A dream you had – unless they are in it – they will likely say “that’s crazy man” a number of times to get you to shut up.

1 – Your children doing everyday things –

“Wow… Dennis went to school today and then was one of the last people out during dodgeball”

“Oh, Beverly, you should have heard him today, he was just so ecstatic – now wants to be a professional dodgeball player.”

“Dennis sounds like an idiot”

Listened to the debate between Trump and Biden last week… these are your two best, eh?

Really feel for the kids this Halloween – there wasn’t a better holiday in a small town.  You knew all of the best houses that would give out the good stuff.  Full-size chocolate bars, cans of pop, the good chocolate.  Sometimes you would get fooled though – Mr. Rhodes would all of sudden be on a health kick and you’d get some fu**ing raisins.  Getting home you’d sit on the ground and dump out the bounty of stuff on the ground.  Your parents would look at you with horror as you devoured 7 chocolate bars in a row, laughing uncontrollably, beginning to levitate from the ground.

To those people that work in retail and wear glasses – how do you manage to wear a mask all-day?  Just say fu** it and bump into things the entire day, or is there a super mask that doesn’t cause the fog issues?

Living in an old apartment building has its downfalls… I can’t control the heat in my apartment and the water pressure/temperature fluctuates constantly.  After living here for multiple years though – I can sense when the water is going to become burning hot and ice cold – it’s an anticipation that is similar to an all-star goalie in hockey. This is the only skill that I’ve picked up since Covid has hit.

It’s actually been pretty impressive how the majority of people that I see in stores are still kind to others.  There are a few one-off instances, but for the most part people, seem to be holding it together… let’s ask the health minister what the secret is…

Elon Musk is doing tests to see if humans are actually in fact in a Matrix.  It feels like the alien that was in control of the original Matrix fell asleep and his 10-year-old sadistic alien child has taken over the storyline.  “Ok, I’ve got everyone feeling the need to buy a fast car to rip around because they can’t release their energy any other way.  What’s next? Let’s have Nickelback release a new album and put it into everyone’s Spotify algorithm.” In the news tonight… Kitchener man witnessed sobbing sitting at the side of the road wearing only a snuggie.

Sending Cameo Videos to the Wasp Hunter

Posted on by Hosehead

Even as a self-proclaimed well put together dude, the constant pounding of bad news and the world being in turmoil is starting to wear me down.  My company has decided that we should continue to work from home until 2021.  What does this mean going into winter?  You look outside that window and see snow piling up, search the internet and either see something Trump has done or Covid cases are rising.  You’re bombarded by stats and experts warning you of everything from global warming to being in quarantine for another full year… I can’t imagine being someone that is already battling depression or anxiety.

Now that you know the world is shit…

How do comedians perform for drive-in crowds?  Do cars honk their horns when they like a joke?  The only good thing about this is that there likely isn’t a shot that you’ll get heckled while in a car.  Unless you’re repping the nutsack on the back of the truck – that’ll likely get you a chirp or two.

The one thing that’s good about this pandemic is that I get out of awkward hugs after seeing people – giving a wave is the absolute best.  The hug sometimes has a kiss on the cheek as well, I have no idea how to position myself and sometimes headbutt the person – all of this gets taken away with the wave. 

During a coed slopitch game this past week, I went way past the acceptable amount of intensity.  Playing for the ‘b’ championship in a league at the Cambridge Ice Park should only be a 5/10 intensity level.  I ripped a 9/10 by throwing my glove against the fence after the final out of a 1 run victory.  Last year the winning team received a backpack that said Cambridge Ice Park Hockey Champions (or something similar) and we were playing baseball. 

Sport car purchases are on the rise.  This is obviously a result of the world being at a stand-still and needing excitement.  Pretty sad existence by having to buy a 40k car to rip up and down Margaret Ave at 2 am, once a week.  Soon we’re going to see vehicles that have fire coming out of the back.  Maybe someone strapped to the front playing the electric guitar… wait, I think this was a movie?

Top 3 Breweries in Tri-City Area

3 – Counterpoint Brewing – good dudes and great hazy IPA’s.  They’ve stepped it up recently and released a few great porters and stouts as well.

2 – Wavemaker – Don’t brew a tonne of different beers, but when they make an IPA it’s always fantastic.

1 – Jackass Brewing – Have mastered the art of the New England IPA.  Really good guys that have a great patio in the back and the coolest symbol of all the breweries in the area.

Hunting is weird – I don’t even like seeing a deceased animal on the side of the road.  I can’t imagine wanting to kill something like a deer… One thing that I wouldn’t mind hunting is wasps – fu** those guys.  I’d have a stick that would just electrocute them one by one.  My soundtrack would just be ‘Kickstart my Heart’ by Motley Crue the entire time.  My costume would be Bam Bam Bigelow’s wrestling outfit – head tattoo and all.

I’ve never owned an umbrella – can only think of 10 times in my life that it would have really come in handy. 

Seeing memes of people dropping knowledge and using a celebrity’s picture that doesn’t make any sense is one of my favourite things.  Picture of Brad Pitt pointing at you from Fight Club talking about problems with the Liberal Government. 

There is a website called Cameo.  It has a bunch of ‘c’ and ‘d’ celebrity actors that will film a small clip and send it to someone for a fee.  There are a bunch of awesome old school wrestlers that have examples up.  If we go into full quarantine, I’m going to send random people messages from actors or athletes that they’ve never heard of before.  Fred Anderson (Zombie from Resident Evil) “wishes you a happy Wednesday, hope you are enjoying the latest episode of Star Trek: Lower Decks, and that the pancakes that you made were up to par.”

As you all (should) know, Sara had Covid at the start of all of this.  Since she’s recovered, I’ve beaten her multiple times at games that she used to own me at (Catan, Connect Four, Jaipur).  Now, she has a great excuse why I keep winning – Covid brain.  This has been her one bright spot of the pandemic.